Chris, Nina, Grant "I Did it for Science" Stoddard, me. (BTW, ever notice that as soon as I get a few drinks in me, okay more than a few, I have my mouth open in every photo? 1 in a series of 3.)
Here's one of the pics I sent into my co-workers on Friday when I was finally well enough to get out of bed. They told me that they missed me, but I just think they wanted funny pictures of me.
My fever was so high that my lips got all split and swollen. It looked like somebody punched me in the mouth. Note the two little medicine cups on my dresser in the background. Thank god for the Quils (Day and Ny, baby).
Turns out, Ralf had the same digital camera as me and he showed me all these features I didn't know it had...like this picture taken with the "Ambient Light" setting that masterfully captured a ghost slapping Claudia's ass!
Bar #4 - Cherry Tavern, 3:04am: Looking to end the night on a high-note, we headed over to our old haunt to see who we could find. Sure enough, we ran into Christian, Kate and Matt Lesser the Hairdresser and proceeded to close the mutha out: Tijuana Special Style....ouch.
Now, Melissa is such a smoove mama that this cute bird in the middle here was totally trying to convince Melissa to go home with her and make out with her! (Let the record show that Melissa, was in fact, not down.)
Bar #2 - Pioneer Bar, 1:41am: After leaving the Nerve crew, Vin and I busted down the Bowery to meet up with my friend (and Oxygen Media prospective client, boo-yah!) Melissa K...(who prefers I not use her last name on this page) was already well into the bag when we caught up with her.
We had given it our best shot and failed. So instead of hunting high school buddies we decided to get drunk and take silly photos. Check out Kim's impression of Sebastian Bach from Skid Row. Nice!
Immediately upon entering the bar we ran into the Wilcheck sister (Joslyn & Adrian). We thought we'd hit the RHS jackpot for sure, but The Barn turned out to be...
We started the hunt at Chi-Chi's Mexican Restaurant (whose bar is apparently, according to our sources, a hot bed of drunken RHS alumni activity). L to R: Jess, Me, Kim and Evani. There wasn't anybody we recognized upon our arrival...but halfway through our first beer...
Yeah, I know. I fit right in. The only thing I can say in my defense is that this photo was taken way out of context. I wasn't making a Backstreet Boy Face on purpose! In fact, if you look at the original photo from which this headshot was taken you'll see that my expression is actually a....
So instead of talking to him, we decided it would probably be more fun to capture him on film looking creepy and then posting his creepy-ass self up on the internet for everyone to see. Here's attempt number 1. You can kind of see his creepy face over the right-hand side of my head.
Deb and Jen smile while I cast a discerning look in the direction of the creepy guy in the background. This guy stood amonst our group by himself silently glaring at us for over 3 hours without saying a word. We were going to ask him what was up but decided against it because we thought we might just start cutting us up.
I knew the competition to earn a slot dancing for the night would be fierce, so I quickly busted out my Photoshop skillz and whipped up two tasty fliers advertising our masculinity that I knew would tantalize those Cake minxes. Here's the first image I sent along...
Look, my clothes aren't even off yet and all the ladies've got their money ready! Aw yeah, boyee. (Too bad they all put their money away once I started getting naked...).
...and when that didn't get an immediate response, I upped the ante with "beefcake" version (check out Grant's sassy, coy lil' smile! Tee-hee!) ...and SHA-POW! It worked. Grant and I got the green light: we were going to become male strippers.
Our Nerve co-workers Em & Lo were right in the front row and were supposed to immortalize our maiden strip performance on film for my photo album, but according to Lo, "We got so excited when you two came out that we were so busy yelling and screaming with our arms up in the air that we forgot to take photos."
At one point in the night, Grant and I gave dirty lap dances to Em & Lo up on stage in front of everyone. (Check out Emma trying to escape my grasp! Hahahaha).
We returned to the safety of the Nerve offices the next day only to receive a standing ovation upon our entrance. We had returned from the land of crazed girls with our egos intact and a fistful of cash taboot. Thanks Cake!
Magnum Motherfucking P.I.! (P.I. = Pimped Investigator, bee-eye-atch!) This shot was taken at my place right before we left for the party. I chose to pose in front of the Hawaiian mural that covers that back wall of our Tikki Living Room.
Grant, dressed up as Pan (the horny god of Baccanalia, appropriately enough) and Nina dressed up as a wood-nymph (they were supposed to be from a Midnight Summer's Dream).
Me with Viola as a Fembot. (Sweet Jesus.) You know, I would normally think that any girl who dressed up in an Austin Powers-related costume in the year 2001 was corny. But for some reason, I thought Viola pulled it off.
I ran over to them and kept trying to flatter one of the drunk ladies into letting me take her picture. I kept telling her "C'mon, it'll be so pretty." This photo is the result of me chasing her around and trying to get her in the frame. (Note my eye on the left). She was dying to dig into her freshly bought 16oz Bud Pounder (with a straw, no less. ROCK!)
Okay, so I'm chilling in the beer room getting a drink (remeber, this is college and most of the kids aren't old enough to drink, bless their little hearts, so there was a whole room set aside for all the "older" kids), and this incredibly hot, scantily-clad, girl comes up to me and just starts freaking my shit. I don't think I've ever smiled that big in my life.
