So the big news in February was that I got myself a motherfucking xBox 360. Awwwww, yeah. This was the first thing that I ever bought on eBay (and I didn't even have the patience to do it properly in an auction - I saw one listed for a decent price in one of those "buy it now" auctions and just WENT FOR IT!)
Fast forward one week and I'm back in the same place: down in the basement coat room of Orchard Bar hiding out from the crowds. Except this time, I'm having fun with tape on my face! Woooo!
The next morning, I woke up sick as a dog. (My sickness = Instant karma payback for putting my balls on a stranger's eyebrows). Meredith took this pathetic photo of me at 8pm the next night after I spent the entire day laid up in bed.
Afterwards, I went to Don Hills to catch the end of MisShapes. I was shocked to find Leigh actually DJing when I arrived! It was like the first time I'd been there in months where she wasn't hiding out somewhere!
Jack came into the back room where we were all holed up and was like "Uh, there's a party going on, dudes. Why are you all hiding out in my bedroom by yourselves?" So I explained that we were busy taking dumb pics of ourselves making ugly faces and didn't want to impose our lameness on the rest of the party. Then I showed him this face.
She hypothesized that I was able to make this face because I had "loose neck skin." Which left it up to me to prove that my neck skin wasn't looser than anyone else's.
On Friday night I went to Orchard Bar to for Sarah and Karen's Stolen Transmission party, but it was so crowded that I ended up spending pretty much the entire night down in the basement hiding in the coat check room with Gurj! It seems like this always ends up happening! All weekly parties always end up having some mundane nook that ends up being the secret place that's more fun that the party itself. (Like when MisShapes used to be at Luke and Leroy, the secret space was the back office!)
...and that later that night we went to Jamie's Ball. (Which is the name of my fried Jamie Kirkpatrick's benefit party he holds every year to raise money for testicular cancer after he lost one of his boys to the disease a few years back). I try to go every year - because it's one of the few times of the year I can donate to charity and make testicular double-entendres all night. (But I'm not even the worst offender, check out the Jamie's Ball website and watch the video he's got there).
With the coziness factor now taken care of, it was time to start giving out presents! Someone would put on the Santa hat and then give out 1 gift to each person. After everyone had gotten 1 gift, the Santa hat would be passed on and the new Santa would pick out 1 gift for everyone. It was so much fun! Ok, onto the gifts (I'll go fast because there were sooooo many gifts...and I hardly remember who gave what to whom!).
"Oh, hi there girl I just met! May I nuzzle your bubbies?" (PS - Check out Frank in the background looking for a woman to womanize). We ended up closing the place out and when we left around 3:30, we did the usual.
Check out our scary eyes: They're glowing ike the metal on the edge of a knife. (Too bad I just realized I made that same joke about singing the same song almost 5 years ago. Jeez, maybe it's time I started picking out some new karaoke jams).
So I'm sitting home, minding my business (aka - probably dorking out on xBox) and I get a text from Gurj: "Karaoke! Me, Ellen and a buncha girls. 2nd & 2nd! Come now!" I mean, how could I turn that down? I threw on a coat, and in a matter of minutes I was there! Here's me with with Ellen and Gurj who'd had a few drinks and were primed from some 'roke!
Before getting full-on into the "show me the ugliest face you can make" game, I figured we'd warm up with the "flare your nostrils and hold them open as long as you can" game. While I'm good at making ugly faces, I'm not so great at the whole nostril-flaring thing.
So it's right after Christmas, and I'd just gotten back in town and after getting settled in, I decided to head out late at night and say hi to some friends. I got to the Darkroom around 3am and right after I'd arrived, look who shows up? Asian Porno Lady! I called her over and asked her to show me some of her "racier" titles. As I was going through the stack of various pirated titles, I came across this one, entitled "The Horse Fucker", and knew she'd just found a new customer. Cha-ching!
Then at the end of the night Sarah paid up for losing the $40 bet we'd made about whether or not she'd ever make out with a certain guy (she said she wouldn't, I had bet that she eventually would).
Then I started showing off some of the advanced techniques I used to subtely sabotage "glamour shots" (because you can't always make a totally ridiculous, over-the-top face). Here's me demonstrating how, with a little practice, you can learn to cross just one eye a tiny bit and make it look like you have a floater-eye!
I got home around 2am and my mom was still up! First time ever! (My mom usually starts sleeping on the couch around 9pm and then after a two hour nap, wakes up at 11pm so that she can go to bed proper!). I guess that new "Sexiest Man Alive" issue of People Magazine must've been keepin' her up!
Hell, by the time the song was finished, I'd even managed to win over the lead singer dude and he suggested that I sing a second song! (And I don't even remember what song it was - only that I knew it even less-well than the Lit song).
So after a few songs, the band, (who I've since found out is called Drunk Uncle Bob) took a break. I pulled the singer aside and this time I managed to convince him to let me sing a song! Then after he agreed to let me do it, it almost didn't happen because I didn't know most of the songs in the bands repertoire. In the end I managed to convince him that I sorta knew the words to My Own Worst Enemy by Lit and that I'd be able to wing it. Check out the singer's expression: totally annoyed because I'm messing up the words. Hahah.
Me and a guy named Billy Lashavicke (sp?) who I don't think I even said like 10 words to in all the 6 years we went to school together - but then 11 years and three Scotches later and you're best buds!
