i keep a diary

a thing in 230 photos

ugly face

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...this pic of Grant making the best "running to catch something" face in the history of sports.
european vacation part 8: scooter madness!
October 25, 2003
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"...THIS?!!" And then proceeded to pull one of the most memorible faces in recent history. Holy Shit.

Here are some special guest photos courtesty of Susan "Rubberface" Surface (and yes, that's her real name, so don't even think about teasing her about it, ok?).
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
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Me. ("Smoosh it good!")
the october roundup
October, 2003
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Candy. Holy fucking shit. ("Ahhh. Ssssss. Smoosh it!")
the october roundup
October, 2003
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Dan. ("Ahhhhhh! Ssssss! Smoosh it!")
the october roundup
October, 2003
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I love stupid photo projects. This one's called "Smoosh Your Face."
the october roundup
October, 2003
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As I sat there reading the manual, I learned that because of it's big internal memory, you can take a succession of pictures superfast. It was only a matter of time I was having Tara see how many faces she could make in four seconds. Ready....GO!
the september roundup part two
September, 2003
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...making stupid faces and...
the nyc power blackout of 2003
August 14, 2003
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...sculpting our sweaty hair into comical 'do's. Keep in mind, the power's been only around seven hours and we're already reduced to stuff like this. Ashamed and discouraged, we all realized that the sooner we just went to bed, the sooner we might wake up to discover that the power would be back on.
the nyc power blackout of 2003
August 14, 2003
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...put them down. Hoo-ah. *Blech* *Gurgle* *Sputter* Check out Jagermeister suddenly transforming me into Dobby from Harry Potter. Jesus.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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We walked down the strip, had a few drinks (can you tell?) On, and you can actually walk around everywhere in Vegas with an open container...WHA? and then we went back to the hotel...but not before Tara fulfilled her life-long dream of seeing the Eiffel Tower. (First Venice, now Paris that I don't have to go to anymore? Man, going to Vegas is like putting money right back into your pocket! Who knew?)
bidness in vegas
June 15, 2003
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....could make a stupider face with it on.
emily visits nyc
May 29, 2003
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Hey lover of "Pietro,"
emily visits nyc
May 29, 2003
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I put the hat on, the shades on and then I did the robot. Top that! Top that! Top that-th-th-that, th-that, that!
emily visits nyc
May 29, 2003
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Tara and I.
random february pics
February, 2003
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...before switching back to the old one with a vengance.
the jentzen kids
November 29, 2002
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Hahahaha.
the jentzen kids
November 29, 2002
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Here's little Abbey Rose with Liam (who is again, pulling the best face ever).
the jentzen kids
November 29, 2002
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Also on hand was Matt Weiner; an RHS alumnus, a Syracuse alumnus and he lives right down the goddamned street from me in NYC. For those of you new to my site, Matt is so revered for making faces that there have been contests held to pay homage.
thanksgiving
November 27, 2002
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Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, Ami busted out an Orgasmo Head Massager and went to work on my scalp. Look at my face...I'll tell you what, bliss sure ain't purty.
cake party: part three
August 27, 2002
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Touch it! Touch it!
the mermaid parade 2002
June 22, 2002
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Speaking of funny as hell, here's Grant with his late entry into the Matt Weiner Face Contest.
teen loft party
May 11, 2002
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Holy Sweet Mother of God. There's no caption that can be written that can make this picture any funnier. So I'm just going to shut up and give Josh the score he deserves.
Score: 11 out of 10
the matt weiner face contest
March 26, 2002
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And let's not forget the infamous "Angry Chinaman with Flipped Eyelids." (Yo, straight up, I taught him how to do that standing on my driveway in like '81. Can you believe that shit?).
the matt weiner face contest
March 26, 2002
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Now that's more like it! Liza brings a pretty good "Disappearing Chin" effect to the table that's very evocative of the Weiner, but she needs to work on making it a little more ugly.
Score: 7 out of 10
the matt weiner face contest
March 26, 2002
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Let's face it, this face straight up sucks. I don't even know if Vin knew that we were having a contest: it looks to me like he just got caught on film trying to stiffle a fart.
Score: 2 out of 10
the matt weiner face contest
March 26, 2002
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Yo, not to toot my own horn or anything, but you gotsta to admit: that's one ugly motherfucking face. Not only have I managed to make my chin completely disappear, I get style points for the gross way my neck has like eight rows of skin bunching up (Ew!).
Score: 8 out of 10
the matt weiner face contest
March 26, 2002
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Lo made faces.
a very merry drunk's xmas
December 12, 2001
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You like-a the schmooshed face?
a very merry drunk's xmas
December 12, 2001
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left to right: Doug, Me and Mike making stupid faces. Taken in my car heading down to the bars on M-Street on homecoming day.
halloween and homecoming
October 31, 1997