Me showing off my mad-crazy Cranium sculpting skillz! The clue was "afro" so I made a little dude with an afro and put a lil' pic in his hair and Brandon totally guessed correctly!
Super late that night I went out and had drinks with Amy K (who's pretty much the only person in the world who's worse than me at updating her website). Jeesh!
Around 3pm we decided to pack it up, but not before I tried to take a sweet photo of the two of us together and Meredith made this totally amazing face behind my back. Hahaha. I love how it looks like she's actually licking my shoulder.
After the butterfly farm, we ate some lunch and then later that afternoon after it'd cooled down a bit (who knew that the Caribbean would be so hot in AUGUST? Doy!) we hit the famous Seven-Mile Beach that Grand Cayman is famous for. (Where I sunbathed with my arm up in the air).
On the drive back home, we noticed THOUSANDS of smooshed carcasses all over the road - which we eventually identified as crabs! Some of them were FUCKING HUGE and you had to swerve to avoid them because they were definitely big enough and sharp enough to potentially pop your tire! I finally pulled over to get a closer look at one of them!
Here's me moments later getting ready to watch my fingers explode in blisters. (I actually ran back to the entrance, found a bathroom, washed my hands thoroughly and managed to avoid any type of irritation. Well, physical irritation at least.)
After making it through customs, we picked up the rental car we'd reserved and headed out to Compass Point, the diving resort that we'd booked a week at.
I'd found Compass Point while I was on TripAdvisor.com trying to figure out where we were going to stay. All of the reviews about Compass Point said it was a beautiful, remote resort with amazing accommodations and an awesome diving staff. The reviews for the place were so over-the-top positive, and their prices which included accommodations PLUS two SCUBA dives per day were so reasonable, that it sounded almost too good to be true (which had us a little worried).
...which led to a "oh no I'm gonna puke" scare about 10 minutes later. Leigh sat with me outside and I'm proud to say I managed to keep everything down. Yay, thirty! I'm a big boy now!
...the monkey was just excited about all of us! Homeboy was packing!. Boy, thirty years old and still doing stuff like pretending an inflatable monkey's tail is a giant inflatable monkey-penis. I guess my eighth-grade guidance counselor was right about me all along! (At least he was wrong about the whole "ending up in jail" part! Er, at least so far anyway).
After I was finished modeling my new look, Ellen and Leigh set out to make a version for Meredith. Notice the wonderful feminine re-interpretation of the original work that resulted in an off-the-shoulder look with a full-length skirt!
If you would've asked fifteen year-old me what I'd be doing on the night of my thirtieth birthday, I know without a doubt that he wouldn't have even come close to describing this photo.
Here's is our masterpiece! It's called See-Through Birthday Suit at Thirty. The saran-wrap garment serves as a skin-metaphor for identity and reminds us that that the world is new to us each and every morning. Which means, we are reborn a new each and every day.
At some point during our meal, one of my weaselly friends managed to sneak away from the table and tip our waitress off to the fact that it was my birthday. She brought me a piece of cake, (complete with candle!) and my friends got to loudly sing "Happy Birthday" and embarrass me! Yay!
After I got home from work the next night, Meredith handed me an envelope. I opened it and it contained a piece of paper with a clue on it! A scavenger hunt!
There's not much of a story to tell with rest of the photos. It's pretty much just me getting drunk with my friends. And I ended up getting pretty, pretty drunk - as evidenced by this photo I stole from Dens' Flickr that shows me triple-fisting three different types of drinks, each in a different type of container! (A cup of Scotch, a can of PBR and a bottle of Heineken. Oooof!)
While unpacking we also discovered that we both had matching, tan, corduroy jackets! (Mine used to belong to my grandfather - I don't know what Meredith's excuse is. Hahah).
Ellen was there (but for some reason, I only have pictures she took of me with her dog)! Here's me with Piper (in the only shot where her tongue's NOT sticking out.
Champagne makes me both sleepy AND cranky. Fast forward to this awesome photo Meredith took of me trying to read-away my wine hangover. (I highly recommend the book I'm reading: The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwarz
I understood the basic principle, but was unable to get it to work the first few times I tried. (I've since gotten it down cold!) So I handed the bottle back over to Grizz and let him show off the magic!
...and we teamed up for this incredibly hot photo. (I don't know if you know this, but I'm going to let you in on a huge secret: WE ARE HUGE FUCKING DORKS.)
And Siege snapped a few funny pics of Mer and I goofing around on the beach with his fancy cam. (Thanks for sending these over, Siege!). Here's our impression of that old Coppertone advertisement where a little dog is tugging at a girl's bathing suit.
Armed and dangerous. Usually, I try my hardest to be a "live and let live" kind of guy. But I draw the line at sentients that seek what entomologists call a "blood meal."
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by Barry Schwarz
