Here's us with Faisal's friend Vadim saying goodbye just before getting into our taxi to the airport! Thanks a million for having us, Faisal! We had THE BEST time!
And then I set my camera all the way across the tent and used the timer to take this awesome Hustler Magazine inspired photo that I call "The West's Corruption of the East."
...a giant air conditioned (and carpeted!) tent. We went inside and Meredith took a bunch of photos of the two of us acting like we're working out some Old Testament business deals. Hahaha.
...Faisal decking me out! I had always figured the clothing had some sort of religious significance, but it turns out that it's just the traditional dress of the region and wearing it to work is pretty much akin to dressing up in a suit in the west.
When I got off the ride, both my eyes were completely bloodshot! The force of being whipped around and hanged upside-down for extended periods of time totally exploded a bunch of tiny capillaries in my eyes. Now that's what I call getting your "two tickets worth!" (Coney Island, I'm looking in your direction with disappointment).
Here's a group shot of the four of us doing our best to pretend that we're not freezing our fucking asses off! (We all laughed at the winter hats that were for sale because we figured "How cold can it really be in there?" Surprise, surprise! Turns out, if you want to keep snow in the desert from melting, you need a room that's really fucking cold.
After we'd finished skiing indoors, I didn't think that the mall would have any other tricks up its sleeve that would impress me...but that was only because I didn't know that the Mall of the Emirates is also home to...
Me alone in front of the hotel. Hahaha. Right after we took all these photos, Biba yet again raised the stakes and was like "Let's all strip down and go SWIMMING!" I was like "Uh, isn't that a bad idea? First of all, we're drunk in a country that frowns upon drinking, second of all, we're trespassing on a five-star hotel's private beach, and third of all, that sign right there clearly says 'No Swimming,' as if all that weren't bad enough, you want us to strip down in a country that totally frowns upon any type of public nudity?" Then we all started hysterically cackling and throwing off our clothes and running into the water.
After lazing around and digesting for a while, we finally got motivated to get up and get going. On the way out, someone was nice enough to take a pic of all of us together.
Right around midnight, exactly FIVE HOURS AFTER WE LANDED, Bernadette arrived at the airport and somehow managed to talk her way through security despite not having a passport or any airplane tickets with her! She spotted us (all greasy and grimy and dejected) and came over and said hi! Then I took this picture! After years of being friends online, this was the first time we'd met in person!
We sat down and told her the whole story and she told us not to worry because, "Mahmoun is on his way." I was like "It's midnight! Who's Mahmoun and what's he going to do?" Bernadette explained that he was a man who worked for her boss and that he was a "problem fixer." (Just like Mr. Wolf!!!)
Sure enough, about ten minutes later a very large, serious-looking Emirati man walked up to the armed guards at immigration and with a nod, they let the dude through! We were like "Whoa." Mahmoun came over to us, and asked us to tell him the problem (and he even whipped out a little pad to take notes just like Mr. Wolf!). After we'd finished explaining to him that we were almost 100% sure that the passport was still on the plane, he was like "Meredith you come with me. Bernatte and Brian, you wait here."
He came back like two minutes later with ten airline employees in tow and said something like "This airplane is supposed to fly back to New York in forty-five minutes, but it's not going anywhere until the passport that's on there is found. So let's go find it." Sure enough, just ten minutes later...
Brad was there taking photos and we hammed it up for him. 'Reserved' Sign + Crotch + Two Pretty Ladies Pointing at Crotch + David Brent Face = Comedy GOLD.
While I never imagined that I'd find myself in Dubai, I certainly never imagined that I'd find myself at a water park in Dubai! Thanks for taking us, Beebs!
I locked my camera up in a locker, but Bernadetta bought a disposable waterproof camera so we could still take pics! Ha! Here's me getting ready to try to stand up in the surfing simulator...I ate shit about 3 seconds after this photo was snapped.
Then on Saturday night, there was a party for Leigh's birthday at MisShapes. (I heard she knows the people that throw that party so they hooked it up for her).
But then instead of continuing to play their "hits," they spent the rest of the show playing shitty cover songs. Here's me and Kip reactive to Poison playing a Tom Petty song! WTF?
Sadie is really old and like most Whippets is sort of shy. So we spent most of Sunday on the couch getting to know each other. Look how reserved and shy she is! Hahaha.
Our teacher split our class into two "groups." We decided to call our group "The THORgasm Theorem." Clockwise from the left: Andrew, Jim, Thor, Hadley, Lauren, me and Tina!
And I still don't believe that this guy really doesn't know who Derek Smalls is. Because I refuse to believe that I'm the first person to have mentioned his resemblance.
Meredith took this totally embarrassing photo of me because she says I sleep like a "naked synchronized swimmer" and after years of posting totally embarrassing photos of pretty much everyone I know, I figure it's only fair that I occasionally get a taste of my own medicine. (And, also because it presented me with an opportunity to create a new photo-tag called "man ass."). Happy June 2007!
Leigh was worried that she was smiling too much in photos lately so we decided to take a "coldstare" photo lest people start to think she's going soft. (Bonus points to Scott for his Colonel Mustard freestyle!)
We got our free drink on and took stupid pictures to celebrate being reunited after four long days apart. (I don't remember what the party was for...maybe is was something related to V Magazine?)
Big ups to Gurj who took my camera and used it to take some of the funniest pictures I've ever seen of me singing karaoke (which is quite an accomplishment when you think about how many photos there are of me singing karaoke).
I wasn't even planning on singing, but Chris put on Laura Brannigan's Gloria (which everyone knows is my favorite karaoke song) and he called me up on stage to tackle it duet-style.
Later that night, Meredith, Matt and I met up with Alex (who was in the same improv class as Matt & I) and we went to see the Sunday night Asscat show at the UCB Theater.
"Hi, Mom? It's Brian. Can you pick Brandon, Gurj and me up from the mall in an hour? No, not the Ledgewood Mall, the Rockaway Mall. Yeah, ok. Meet you by the Cinnabon! Thanks, Mom!"
...where I just kick back and chill in my pink Mets visor. Hahah. Actually, these are the only pics of a lost Sunday I spent at Karen's house watching TV and eating takeout. (And that's totally Karen's not-ironic-at-all, pink Mets visor!) Ha!
No Mercy! (Thanks again for the shirts, Dave! After I received the shirts, I spent like two hours on 80sTees.com reminiscing about TV shows I'd totally forgotten about!)
When I got home that evening, there was a package waiting for me at the apartment! A few days prior, I'd gotten an email from a guy named Dave who does PR for a 80sTees.com. While browsing the web, he'd found a few entries where I joke about looking like "Sweep the Leg Johnny" from the Karate Kid and hooked me up with some sweet Cobra Kai shirts!
By the time we got to the LES, whatever party we were supposed to have been attending, had long since ended. So instead we made friends with a bearded, black cowboy...
