If you talked to any person from each of our respective high schools they wouldn't believe that these days girls actually let us touch them (Hell, Siege even gets paid to take pictures of him touching them!) If someone had managed to harness our combined adolescent sexual angst, we could've powered New York City for several days.
I tried to do the old "get a load of this passed-out drunk" photo with Amanda, but she was just conscious enough to figure out what I was up to and milliseconds after this pic was snapped, she managed to yank my head back. Hahah. Ow.
You have to be careful getting this close to Lo when she's been drinking - most of the time you'll just get your face licked, but if she's feeling vindictive, she give you a hickey that'll make it look like you survived a hanging (thanks Meredith!) before you even realize what she's up to.
So I go to my bedroom to check on things and who do I find in there? Jenny Penny and the random dude that got Vin, Amber and I stoned out of our tiny minds that one random night at Lit!
Danielle and Vanessa (who I met that night because they read this site! Hi girls! Sorry it took me, um, six months and eleven days to getting around to posting these photos! Doh.)
And here's me with posing for the "I'm a big pussy who can only eat one breakfast" picture. Now before you go and start complaining that Nikki and Sarah were being wasteful because there's no way any normal human could eat that much...
Once that party was in full swing, I decided it was time to unveil my new Spring Collection 2004.
Top-button, velour shirt, the stylist's own; skull n' bones concert -tee, Piebald ($10); white canvas belt, some Chinee lady on Canal Street ($1). Champagne flute crammed down front of pants for effect.
My friend Sarah was working for some fancy PR company during fashion week and invited me to some really exclusive party that MAC cosmetics was throwing. I couldn't care less, but a party's a party, right? I invited Nina (under the proviso that she's wear a dirty shirt). Nina doesn't disappoint.
Hahaha. Buddy's photographer friend emailed me this pic a few days later. Check me out rocking with a can of beer. I look like a Pabst's commercial. After karaoke I headed over to Lit to see what was shaking.
And to think, exactly twenty-four hours earlier we were in cold, wintery NYC sitting in front of a moron who was begging one of us to punch him. Sometimes the modern world amazes me.
Get a load of this fuggin' guy. I love how Scott has a perfect lipstick kiss-mark right in the middle of his forehead for pretty much the rest of the night.
Here's us with Scott and Eric, two guys that we met that were originally from Boston. Eric, the guy in the JERK shirt, moved to Aruba for good and is a lawyer there.
We scored a rental car and headed to check in to our...oh, wait, did I forget to mention that our resort check-in date wasn't until Saturday and we'd decided to party the first two nights and sleep in our rental car? Hahah. Ok, so here's the story. Keep in mind, we went on this trip because my Uncle Bruce had a week at a luxury resort that he wasn't going to be able to use. That meant that we had a free place to stay from Saturday to Saturday. When we went to buy plane tickets, we found out that if we flew in on Thursday (instead of Friday or Saturday), our flights would be almost $600 cheaper. Considering we were both trying to save money (neither of us were working at the time), we decided that we take the cheaper Thursday flight and and just sleep in the rental car until Saturday when we were able to check into the fancy resort.
Despite what this story would otherwise indicate, Tobias must actually have a really good sense of humor. At one point during the five minutes he spent trying to get us to hit him, he pointed at me and said "Fuck you." then slowly turning to point at Scott said, "And fuck you." And then to further illustrate his point, he took his lil' marker back out and wrote this on the wall complete with arrows clarifying who he was directing "the fucking" at. That shit ruled. THAT should be his new tag. Tobias, if you ever read this, I'm sorry we gave you a hard time. Maybe we just caught you on a bad night?
PS - The fact that I'm sorry doesn't change the fact that you're tag is GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Hahahahaha.
Then, much to Tobias' dismay, we started taking pictures of us giving his tag the dreaded "thumbs down." Oooh! That's gotta sting. Tobias was beside himself and spent the next five minutes standing in front of the bench we were sitting on trying to get us to start a fight with him. Tobias really wanted to fight, but only if we did something first. Scott, explained that since neither of us were going to hit him, if he wasn't going to hit us, he should just go away. Despite Scott's words, Tobias stood there for the next five minutes (literally, FIVE MINUTES) sounding like a broken record: "C'mon, hit me motherfucker. Come on, hit me. Hit me you, bald pussy. What about you, blondie? C'mon hit me. Let's do this. Let's do this. Yo, for real, yo. Let's do this. C'mon, hit me. Hit me..."
Towards the end, he mixed it up a little: "Yo, you're lucky it's just me. How about if I call my crew up and get them to come down here?" Scott, called his bluff "Tobias, it's 3:40am on a Wednesday. More than anything else in the world, I would love for you to call your crew up. Go ahead, call them up. And then when they get here, when you're "crew" is all here, we can fight. How does that sound? Does that sound good to you?" The audience that had gathered, laughed at this, and what little signs Tobias had earlier shown of calming down and leaving us along immediately disappeared and he began trying to get us to punch him with a newfound fervor.
At this point, Scott realized that Tobias clearly wasn't going to go away on his own accord, so in his loudest speaking voice (and keep in mind that as a former opera singer, he can speak very loud) Scott said "EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. I JUST WANT TO SIT HERE AND ENJOY MY DRINK AND YOU'RE IN MY PERSONAL SPACE." Tobias kept leaning into Scott's face saying "C'mon hit, me. C'mon!" etc. So again, Scott said "I'M ASKING YOU AGAIN - PLEASE STOP BOTHERING ME. YOU'RE STANDING TOO CLOSE TO ME AND YOU'RE TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT WITH ME AND YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE." Tobias didn't stop. So Scott stands up and Tobias steps up to get close to his face again. Seeing no other way, Scott turned his head to the sizeable crowd that had gathered to watch the very small guy persist to berate the very big, bald guy, and asked them "Does everyone here see what's been going on?" Before they could answer, Scott quickly dipped down low for a second and exploded out of his crouched position and with his outstreched arms sent an unsuspecting Tobias sailing backwards, legs up in the air, several feet through the air.
Tobias landed square on his back, smacked his head on the floor and continued to slide backwards with his legs up. He stopped just short of crashing into the bar (which, no joke, was a good 15" from where he'd been standing just a second earlier) and scrambled to his feet. In the sevearal moments that Tobias stood there wild-eyed and quaking, staring at Scott across the distance he'd just so uniquely traveled, torn between wanting to charge at Scott while at the same time understanding that the guy he wanted to charge at was the one that had just sent him hurtling through the air, the bouncer (that I guess had been standing outside on the street the whole time) heard the commotion, came running to the back, grabbed a hold of Tobias and positioned himself between the two men. As soon as the bouncer got a firm hold on him, Tobias, who'd spent the prior ten seconds in a state of non-action, started ferociously struggling to get free so he could kick Scott's "fucking bald ass." After thirty seconds of trying to calm Tobias down, the bouncer looking over Tobia's clearly larger opponent and told him "If you don't calm the fuck down, I'm going to let you go." Tobias immediately calmed down.
With Tobias under control, the bouncer walked over to Scott and told him that he was going to have to leave. At this point, the whole back room chimed in to tell the bouncer that it was the other guy that should be thrown out and Tobias (with cheers from crowd) was ejected from the bar. The bouncer, whose name was Jamal, came back in, and after hearing what had happened from a few onlookers, apologized and bought Scott a beer. Oh, and here's the best part:
Wednesday night I went to CBGB's (also on Bowery, wooo!) to see Chrisina Alessi's band, Hey Tiger. I went to HS with Chris and ran into fellow Roxbury High School alumnus, Megan Mee and Gary Chase. (That's 2 points for me!)
Afterwards I met up with Emily and we headed over to Nolita Tavern for a little late night Sid and Buddy karaoke which we arrived to find in full effect.
And...this is so exciting...after almost two years of super-nerdy "we're CYBERFRIENDS!" online correspondence...I finally managed to meet up with (the smoking hot...hooo-ah!) Emilie Elizabeth.
