Besides getting some great boob pics at the party, I also won a $20 bet. This girl was talking about the movie Goonies and turned and asked me "Hey, what was the name of the lumpy head guy?" "Sloth," I told her. "Sloth Fratelli." She was like "That's not even close." Anyway, I was positive that it was this his name. We were gonna Google it, but no computers were around. In the end, we decided that we'd walk around the party and ask other party-goers the same question. If at least five other people, unprompted by me, named the lumpy-headed character in question as "Sloth," I'd win $20. If, I couldn't find five partygoers to corraborate, I'd have to pay her $20. Needless to say, I had that shit wrapped up in about three minutes. Here's me with the girl I made the bet with. Hahah. (Just for the record, I'm so right.)
Here's us with an elder Klingon. The two people on the left hammed in on our photo opp because they were too scared to ask the other younger Klingon for a photo. (That's how seriously intimidating he was! Other adults were too scared to ask him for a photo! Hahahahah).
Holy crap, I'm almost a year behind on this diary and I have no idea who this girl is. Maybe a friend of Tara's from Houston that she put me in touch with? Tara, a little help?
Then we decided it was time to play everyone's favorite game: DRUNK GUY JENGA! The rules are simple, each person takes a turn placing any object within reach on the passed out person. If you wake them up, you lose!
Somewhere during the course of the afternoon, I ended up making friends with this deaf mute guy. He spent his day circling the park and barking (yes, literally barking, he's deaf mute, remember?) at girls in bikinis to get their attention and then taking their picture with a disposable camera. He communicated with us by miming and manage to tell us that he puts all of his photos of girls in bikinis in an album and that we should all come over and look at the pictures sometime because he lives right around the corner. (I swear this is true. How could I even make something like this up?) The only thing I didn't learn was his name.
Hey, it's Jim! This (fugging) guy and a few of his friends were in town from all over the place (Toronto, Boston and London if I remember correctly). He read about the show on my site and they all decided to swing by and check the band out! So rad!
Remember how Fatty and I played frisbee in the park on Sunday? Well, we ended up befriending two Italians that were visiting from Milan. They'd been in town for a few weeks, but were staying in Astoria and told us that they'd been disappointed with the NYC nightlife they'd seen. I gave them my cell number and assured them I'd take them out and show them a good time. So on Monday night we met up and I took them on the rounds. We started off with a few drinks at the Fish.
"Hey dude, that's a fresh hat! I've never seen a cowboy skull hat." "That's because I made it myself." "Wow! You made that? I can't believe it! It's like a work of art - that you can WEAR! Say, you wouldn't mind posing for a picture, would you?" Bwahahaha.
Quicly became a duet. Er, sort of. This girl didn't sing with me, however, she did lay writing on the stage while I sang and did all sorts of crazy floor dancing. It significantly enhanced my performance.
So I go to my bedroom to check on things and who do I find in there? Jenny Penny and the random dude that got Vin, Amber and I stoned out of our tiny minds that one random night at Lit!
Then, much to Tobias' dismay, we started taking pictures of us giving his tag the dreaded "thumbs down." Oooh! That's gotta sting. Tobias was beside himself and spent the next five minutes standing in front of the bench we were sitting on trying to get us to start a fight with him. Tobias really wanted to fight, but only if we did something first. Scott, explained that since neither of us were going to hit him, if he wasn't going to hit us, he should just go away. Despite Scott's words, Tobias stood there for the next five minutes (literally, FIVE MINUTES) sounding like a broken record: "C'mon, hit me motherfucker. Come on, hit me. Hit me you, bald pussy. What about you, blondie? C'mon hit me. Let's do this. Let's do this. Yo, for real, yo. Let's do this. C'mon, hit me. Hit me..."
Towards the end, he mixed it up a little: "Yo, you're lucky it's just me. How about if I call my crew up and get them to come down here?" Scott, called his bluff "Tobias, it's 3:40am on a Wednesday. More than anything else in the world, I would love for you to call your crew up. Go ahead, call them up. And then when they get here, when you're "crew" is all here, we can fight. How does that sound? Does that sound good to you?" The audience that had gathered, laughed at this, and what little signs Tobias had earlier shown of calming down and leaving us along immediately disappeared and he began trying to get us to punch him with a newfound fervor.
At this point, Scott realized that Tobias clearly wasn't going to go away on his own accord, so in his loudest speaking voice (and keep in mind that as a former opera singer, he can speak very loud) Scott said "EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. I JUST WANT TO SIT HERE AND ENJOY MY DRINK AND YOU'RE IN MY PERSONAL SPACE." Tobias kept leaning into Scott's face saying "C'mon hit, me. C'mon!" etc. So again, Scott said "I'M ASKING YOU AGAIN - PLEASE STOP BOTHERING ME. YOU'RE STANDING TOO CLOSE TO ME AND YOU'RE TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT WITH ME AND YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE." Tobias didn't stop. So Scott stands up and Tobias steps up to get close to his face again. Seeing no other way, Scott turned his head to the sizeable crowd that had gathered to watch the very small guy persist to berate the very big, bald guy, and asked them "Does everyone here see what's been going on?" Before they could answer, Scott quickly dipped down low for a second and exploded out of his crouched position and with his outstreched arms sent an unsuspecting Tobias sailing backwards, legs up in the air, several feet through the air.
Tobias landed square on his back, smacked his head on the floor and continued to slide backwards with his legs up. He stopped just short of crashing into the bar (which, no joke, was a good 15" from where he'd been standing just a second earlier) and scrambled to his feet. In the sevearal moments that Tobias stood there wild-eyed and quaking, staring at Scott across the distance he'd just so uniquely traveled, torn between wanting to charge at Scott while at the same time understanding that the guy he wanted to charge at was the one that had just sent him hurtling through the air, the bouncer (that I guess had been standing outside on the street the whole time) heard the commotion, came running to the back, grabbed a hold of Tobias and positioned himself between the two men. As soon as the bouncer got a firm hold on him, Tobias, who'd spent the prior ten seconds in a state of non-action, started ferociously struggling to get free so he could kick Scott's "fucking bald ass." After thirty seconds of trying to calm Tobias down, the bouncer looking over Tobia's clearly larger opponent and told him "If you don't calm the fuck down, I'm going to let you go." Tobias immediately calmed down.
With Tobias under control, the bouncer walked over to Scott and told him that he was going to have to leave. At this point, the whole back room chimed in to tell the bouncer that it was the other guy that should be thrown out and Tobias (with cheers from crowd) was ejected from the bar. The bouncer, whose name was Jamal, came back in, and after hearing what had happened from a few onlookers, apologized and bought Scott a beer. Oh, and here's the best part:
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