diary tags today about

a person in 5,311 photos

me

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appears with…

meredith613
!best445
grant397
!us248
!sunglasses230
!karaoke188
leigh169
fatty159
sarah133
!birthday127
!misshapes126
maddy124
!driving119
!kiss114
!strangers113
!beach112
!mirror112
jeet108
vin100
brett87

What the fuck is wrong with my eyes? Siege swears he didn't alter them in Photoshop but it's hard for me to believe him seeing as my eyes make me look like a character in Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun video. WTF?

Me grabbing a hold of two sweet, sweet cans (a Bud Pounder and Sue May's sweet bottom).

Meredith caught me taking a turkey nap on the couch.

And Ellen!

So was Moshi Moshi Stephen!

Reunited with my old roomie Victoria!

New passport photo.

Yo, check out that hair. Hahaha.

Jonas and Amy K

Tinny trying to hide from Briangina's camera.

Hahah.

And Sandra and I realized that, in some weird way, we sort of look like brother and sister.

Hahaha.

And a Heeb shirt!

And Ochi who I hadn't seen in three years!

It also gave up a chance to catch up with Miriam! We spent so much god damn time in this diner that she's practically family.

Prizes included an official certificate proclaiming me winner of the very first American Schmidol 2005!

And a heartfelt ending. Why, Ricky? WHY? By the way, Brother Lawrence was manning my camera for all of this and I'd like to thank him for taking such great pics.

I decided to go with Skid Row's cautionary ballad, 18 & Life. I was even lucky enough to score a stageful of interpretive backup dancers. Sure, that song might be a ballad...

Yes, that's right! Sing along with me, Jews! You can't but help be charmed by my blonde shikso locks!

In American Schmidol, everyone gets to perform one song. The judges score everyone and then pick two finalists to return to the stage and each sing one more song. The winner of the finalists round will be crowned AMERICAN SCHMIDOL! Any karaoke enthusiast knows there are a very limited number of jams that are surefire karaoke gold. I wasn't sure which one to go with. Oh, Darling by The Beatles? Faith by George Michael? Maybe something from the Pantheon of Jovi? In the end I decided to take no risks and chose the only nuclear warhead in the karaoke arsenal: Laura Brannigan's Gloria.

Rina! (posing with my weird moon-face).

...but it's a ballad with YELLING! AND A MORAL!

Which I figured she like better than this creepy-ass person-shaped squishy pillow for sleeping with. Hahah.

Then afterwards I went over to Happy Ending. Me with SmellsGood BonJersey and Eric.

We also learned something else about Jamaica: no matter where you go, no matter how remote or desolate the place might seem, you will have about eight minutes of "alone time," before a local will appear, seemingly out of nowhere, to try to sell you something. A tour, a bracelet, a boat ride, a snorkeling trip, and if all else fails, a giant bag of weed.

Meredith laughing at me reading Wired. Which she now reads. (Guess who's been infected with NERDOM?)

While standing there, we had a realization...

Over breakfast we busted out the guidebook we'd bought the day before in NYC...

After some wonderful dinner and a few rounds of refreshing tropical drinks...

And a bow. You definitely can't leave out the bow.

This one. (By the way, how sweet is that bracelet of mine? I'm actually still wearing it 18 months later).

Pasty guy on the beach! Pasty guy on the beach!

...stayed inside and read (and took creepy photos of ourselves, apparently).

...wetsuit. Hahaha.

Afterwards we hit the beach back at our hotel and Meredith finally managed to get a point up on the Scrabble board. 3-1.

Awwww, yeah! And headed over to Dunns River Falls. Which is this really nice picturesque waterfall that you climb up. (Don't have pics becuase I was afraid about my cam getting ruined).

Exhausted from trouncing Meredith at Scrabble (yet again! 3-0, baby!) I hit the towel for a nizzap.

Thursday morning we got up, hit the beach and watched the cruise ships come in.

Awwww, yeah. Two games to none!

Later that night we took a break from all the Rastifarian restaurants we'd been eating in and opted for some Italian.

Hahaha.

The driving was so out of control stressful that about halfway to Ocho Rios we had to pull over so I could take a break. We found a road-side "jerk shack" ("Hey, we're jerks!") and decided to have a smoke, have a drink and have some spicy Jamaican food.

Hahahah.

So sometimes I like to dress up like to dress up like a sexy lady when I'm high. What? What's the big deal?

Back at the hotel we took a swim...

Lounging in my flippers.

The place we'd booked to stay out was a gated-off resort-type place so we decided to rent a car because it would give us more freedom to explore the island. I'd driven on the left side of the road before and figured it would be no big deal. WRONG! Too bad no one told me that Jamaicans, who are reknowned around the world for getting high and being all friendly and "No problem, mon!" turn into crazy people as soon as they get behind the control on anything that has wheels a motor. Seriously, they are hands down the craziest drivers I've ever seen (and I grew up in NEW JERSEY!).

My manliness gets Meredith so hot.

Awwwwww.

Our sympathy for the locals who were desparate to make a buck in the face of Jamaica's receeding tourism, had begun to quickly dissipate.

After breakfast we took a three hour drive to check out Port Antonio, which was made famous because its Blue Lagoon was where the 80s Tom Cruise movie Cocktail was filmed ( which the locals still affectionally talk about like it came out in theaters last week).

Back at the hotel, we hit the beach to read and play Scrabble.

Awwww.

Hahaha. And then made faces at me in my sleep. (That's ok, I make faces at her pretty much EVERY NIGHT while she's sleeping).

I passed the fuck out and Meredith took pics of my sleeping double chin.

...then I conked the fuck out so Meredith could take some more pics mocking me in my sleep.

Wednesday morning, we got up nice and early to make sure we could get to the airport to claim our tickets and make sure there weren't going to be any other snags.

On the flight home we took this pic...

...a little romantic.

I guess that's it for February 2005. Woot woot!

Me and Amy K

Nina and me sorta look like we're related.

On Wednesday afternoon Grant and I met up with his Uncle and Aunt that were in town from Norway. (Uncle Phil is Grant's dad's brother).

Afterwards, I went over to Lit to meet up with this little asshole. I hadn't seen her in a long ass time and wanted to catch up because the very next day I was going to Jamaica with Meredith for a week!

Yeah, I'm guessing that we're already drunk here.

Awww, Valentine's Day. Meredith and I had a nice little dinner at...

Then I usually take a picture of myself chilling in the back while I've got the camera out. Yup. Here's me, just chilling.

Me at the top of the steps to Meredith's apartment getting ready to hail a cab.

Meredith snapped this pic of me in her apartment doing a panicky last-minute check to make sure I had everything I needed for my trip.

So cold that I'd taken to wearing my black thermals that I'd bought for my upcoming trip to Estonia, Finland, Germany and Hungary under my clothes while walking around in NYC.

Marjorie didn't need to borrow my hat cause she had her very own!

Tuesday night I went over to Number 1 Chinese (now called China One) to check out Sid and Buddy's new karaoke party that they called to tell me had somehow become a favorite hangout for "slutty models." Hahah.

Then we had a contest to see who could hold two spoons with their eyes for the longest amount of time. I won. (Actually, as of this writing, a year later, I still haven't let them go. Which is why this site is so far behind.)

...slip into something more comfortable.

This one's my favorite because if you look closely you'll notice...

Meredith took some "casual" pics of me lounging in front of my computer in my sweet lounging-robe and new slippers.

They're so snazzy and shiny that I've been threatening to wear them with a suit and walk around outside the house with them on!

Then it was my turn.

Me and Karen.

...borrow Emily's hat (and anyone who knows me know how much I HATE hats!).

Eureka! This one's perfect. Holy shit we're fucking ugly. No wonder neither of us can ever get laid!

Mine's even better in this pic but Siege is looking downright cute. That won't do at all!

Outside Siege and I tried to make the ugliest faces that we could. Pretty good.

Me with my sweet-ass orange hat that my Gram bought for me and Nick.

Me with Jaye's boobies.

Oh, payback! Nick gets slammed with a "get a load of this guy" times two.

Never one to pass up an opp to rock the mic, Seth came with.

Mrs. Peepers and me.

Seith (in town visiting from Boston..wooo!) me and Grizz.

The guy in the black leather jacket was pretty much the drunkest ambulatory person I've ever seen in my life. All throughout the show he wove his way in and out of the audience, jumping around, spilling drinks and either routing for or heckling the band. (He was so drunk it wasn't clear what he was yelling. Just that he was very enthusiastic about whatever it was he was yelling.)

Jessica - clearly seen here about to pay me for snuggling her boobs.

This is how I do on the dance floor.

...Sid and Buddy Karaoke!

Eric G, in the house boy-ee.

Sarah, me and Josh.

Amber and me (air-cupping her boobie).

Here's Sarah and I in the front and I'm squatting down so that I look like a kid.

We stepped into a bar and promptly ran into his recent ex-gf Jesse. Ah-ah-awkward!

Here's me with the man of the hour.

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a photo diary · online since december 1996