i keep a diary

a person in 982 photos

fatty

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fatty
If you're looking for some hot "double team" action, Wal*Mart's got it! Who knew?
boys weekend in newport part one: the drive up
August 01, 2003
fatty
New swimming trunks for Fatty!
boys weekend in newport part one: the drive up
August 01, 2003
fatty
I got caught in traffic leaving Boston so Grant and Fatty decided to kill some time by goofing off at Wal*Mart.
boys weekend in newport part one: the drive up
August 01, 2003
fatty
Here's Fatty's take on the same incident (if you click here you'll see the original coffee lady in the background and Grant and Fatty laughing at her).
boys weekend in newport part one: the drive up
August 01, 2003
fatty
Needless to say, Team BatFatty was victorious. We're #1! We're #1!
boys weekend in newport part four: race back to nyc
August 01, 2003
fatty
I was trying to take a video of us rocking out but took a picture instead and managed to capture us in the midst of some pretty serious MetalFaces (check out Fatty pretending to play kit in the background with his DrummerFAce in full effect. Hahaha).
boys weekend in newport part four: race back to nyc
August 01, 2003
fatty
One last pic with the New York Four.
boys weekend in newport part four: race back to nyc
August 01, 2003
fatty
The Six of us looking surprisingly not-hungover (um, expcept for Fatty).
boys weekend in newport part four: race back to nyc
August 01, 2003
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This is hands down my favorite pic of the night. Bert N' Tha Boyz.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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But man oh, man. My drunk-as-fuck face has got nothing on Fatty's drunk face. Check out his eyes! Hahahaha.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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As "last call" drew nearer, we bid the lovely ladies a fond farewell and hit the road to head over to some other bar where Seth and Frank knew the owner (If you look in the background behind my arm you can see Seth showing off the can of beer he snuck out of the bar by strategically hiding it in his asscrack. Sweet.)
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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See?
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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So we chatted them up for a while, found out that they were down on vacation from Braintree, Mass (and Fatty made some more "Fatty" faces).
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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She was like "Why are you all laughing?" and started to walk away. I managed to convice her that we were just happy to meet such cute girls and Seth got his act together in time to snap this pic.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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We headed out to some restaurant on the water of dinner and some drinks. Yay, drinks!
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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Fatty and Grant (showing off his, ahem, killer tan).
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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After months of getting people to willingly pose with my balls, it was time to try something new: getting unsuspecting people to unknowingly pose with my balls. I discreetly whipped out my bag, and grabbed one of our new friends for a picture. I handed off the cam to Seth who totally shit the bed by not managing to get my balls in the pic. Doh! The rest of the guys in the pic (Check out Grant and Franks' faces) were laughing so hard that the girl in the black shirt was totally confused...
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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...so we headed to some other outdoor bar nextdoor and hit paydirt! Ladies and gentleman, I present to you, the four cutest girls in Newport! Check out Fatty leaning in with the "Fatty laugh" in the background.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
fatty
...backup arrived in the form of Seth, fresh outta the car from Boston. (Bonus points to Frank for pulling that shit-eating grin.)
boys weekend in newport part two: friday night and the beach
August 01, 2003
fatty
After the beach, Fatty made the mistake of trying to catch a quick nap amidst a roomful of rowdy guys. Check out Big Daddy calling in for back-up while Frank gives Fatty a lil' "hot dog in the bun through the sheet" action...
boys weekend in newport part two: friday night and the beach
August 01, 2003
fatty
Miraculously, as soon as we got to the beach, the clouds all disappeared (what little sun there was must of reflected off of Colin's white, white skin and burned them all away). Also, Grant and Fatty's friend Mark Wholley, who lives nearby in Providence came down to join in the beach fun.
boys weekend in newport part two: friday night and the beach
August 01, 2003
fatty
Thumbs up!
boys weekend in newport part two: friday night and the beach
August 01, 2003
fatty
After dinner we headed to some god-awful outdoor Newport nightclub that was on the water.
boys weekend in newport part two: friday night and the beach
August 01, 2003
fatty
Friday night was also the Fatty's birthday! We dedicated dinner to him complete with complementary birthday cupcake. Hi-Five!
boys weekend in newport part two: friday night and the beach
August 01, 2003
fatty
From L to R: Fatty, me, Colin, Frank and Grant.
boys weekend in newport part two: friday night and the beach
August 01, 2003
fatty
Check out a Gatsby-esque Fatty maxin-an'-relaxin'. Unbelievable. Shortly after this pic was taken, it started pouring and we were forced to leave. (So we choose to go right to Burger King and celebrate the end of "bathing suit season" with delicious Whoppers with cheese.)
the august roundup
August, 2003
fatty
With summer on it's way out Grant, Emily, Fatty and myself decided to ignore the day's forcast for rain and head back to Ft. Tilden for a little deserted beach action. (By the way - take a moment to appreciate just how great the picture above is).
the august roundup
August, 2003
fatty
Let's see...fifteen boxes divided by three guys = *BURP*
the august roundup
August, 2003
fatty
After getting Charlie situated at my house, Grant, Fatty and I suddenly got hit by "The Crave" (and uncontrollable lust for thin, onion-steamed, definitely not Grade-A beef patties). So we hopped a cab (yes, we actually took a cab) from the East Village up to 33rd and 5th Ave to go to White Castle.
the august roundup
August, 2003
fatty
Ok, this photo's a bit redundant, but I only included it because check out Fatty surreptitiously making faces at his date. Hahahaha.
fort tilden and sarah's roof party
July 20, 2003
fatty
Late, late in the day, Fatty showed up with some Russian girl that'd he'd met earlier on the week, but he didn't hang out with us becuase he was on a "date." We all left together, though. From L to R: Liz, Grant, Erica, Fatty, his Russian date, and there's Seven Layer down at the bottom.
fort tilden and sarah's roof party
July 20, 2003
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Big Daddy and the Fatty grilling up some eats.
badminton in brooklyn
July 12, 2003
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Liz and the Fatty.
badminton in brooklyn
July 12, 2003
fatty
Then out of the blue, Steve Hayes, Jetsetera's long-lost fourth member showed up...
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
fatty
Here's the lesser-seen "sideways DLR (that's David Lee Roth, playa) kick."
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
fatty
...and the original Jetsetera line up took the stage for the first time in over three years for a four-way karaoke re-enactment of the seminal Van Halen song, "Hot For Teacher." (In order to really appreciate that last caption, you have to hear me say it in my Casey Kasem voice.)
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
fatty
Hahahah. Just when you thought Fatty couldn't top the "dessert" pic above...
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
fatty
...after he slept throught that it was time to pull out the big guns and throw 220lbs of Fatty on him. Hahaha.
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
fatty
Saturday night Grant made reservations for the Über-fancy restaurant, Suba. The food was so pretty, that our entries all merritted us all posing with them.
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
fatty
Hahahaha. If Dave Fateman dies before me, I'm gonna make sure this is one of the pics they put on top of the coffin - because this one photo bascially sums up how Fatty's living his life.
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
fatty
Hey ladies, how'd you like to see that face right at the end of sex? Hoo-ah! I met up with Fatty, Grant and Charlene (still in town visiting from London) from some tasty brunch at the Midnight Cafe.
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
fatty
Fatty makes his "Fatty" face while out on the dancefloor...
coney island then plaid
June 27, 2003
fatty
Look! It's the ARMY OF DUDES. Can seven guys get into a nightclub on Friday night with only one female?
coney island then plaid
June 27, 2003
fatty
Here's us teasing Colin about his nicknamed being changed from "Big Daddy" to "P.Dinky." (The entire story will be explained in a diary entry that probably won't be allowed to be realeased until the year 2030 *sigh*).
coney island then plaid
June 27, 2003
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See that lady in the background? She wanted more coffee - but instead of calling the waitress over, she held up her coffee cup in the air with her arm fully extended for like an entire minute. I fumbled to get the camera out, but by the time I managed to turn the flash off and snap a pic, the waitress had arrived to take care of her.
memorial day out in nj
May 26, 2003
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This is the best photo ever. It might take you a sec to realize what's going on here, but go ahead and give it a good look. We got back from the bar and found Glen and Zabrina asleep on the couch. Thinking back to last year we immediately knew what had to be done. We were struggling so hard to keep from laughing (note Grant covering his mouth), but right as the camera went off, a giggle escaped from Grant and Glen opened his eyes. Hahahaha.
memorial day out in nj
May 26, 2003
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Here's a close up of the crew! Glen, Fatty, John, Grant and JoAnna.
memorial day out in nj
May 26, 2003
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Saturday morning, we woke up early, hopped the Amtrak train and headed out into dirty Jerz.
memorial day out in nj
May 26, 2003
fatty
Around 10:30, the living room was getting over-crowded and people started spilling into the guest bedroom (Big Daddy, Fatty and Sarah pimp by the window).
emma's 30th birthday: part one
May 21, 2003
fatty
John Craven, Grant and Fatty. (Fatty pulls that face everytime a camera comes out, he just can't help it. He was telling us that when his brother's wedding pics came back he got yelled at because he was doing that face in every single pic he was in. hahaha).
guest bartending at iggy's keltic lounge
May 08, 2003
fatty
FATTY LIKE CAKE!
grant and fatty move
May 03, 2003
fatty
Frank, Colin helping Dave schlepp schtuff up into his fancy new digs on the corner of 1st & St. Marks (that he bought. Player's got bank, yo).
grant and fatty move
May 03, 2003
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Dave piloting the Ryder en route to his new apartment in the East Village.
grant and fatty move
May 03, 2003
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You can take your rules and signs and shove them up your ass! Fatty's a fucking rock n' roll rebel.
the may roundup
May, 2003
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So we're in the back of the bar and we see this guy (Scott Weinstein) who totally looks like a bizarro version of our friend Dave Fateman. (Click here to launch the comparison window).
tiffany's birthday
March 01, 2003
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Grant with Scott "Bizarro Dave" Weinstein.
tiffany's birthday
March 01, 2003
fatty
Mostly, it was an excuse to eat lots of food. I don't think we even made it halfway through the game. We ended up watching the "To Live and Date in New York: Part II" (let's hear it for the MetroChannel, aw yeah) and intermittenly flipping back over to the game to watch the commercials.
end of january
January 18, 2003
fatty
Check this out: Fatty found his old drivers license back from his hair metal days. He played lead axe (that's guitar) for the infamous band "Nasty Magic." (And no I'm not kidding. Do you really think I could've made that name up?)
end of january
January 18, 2003
fatty
Thumbs up from the boys!
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
fatty
Who loves you Big Daddy, eh? Who loves you?
sarah d's birthday parties
January 11, 2003
fatty
Which made Colin just a leeeetle jealous. So...
sarah d's birthday parties
January 11, 2003
fatty
"Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?" Yes. See picture of girl's nipple, above.
heavy metal karaoke at arlenes grocery
December 30, 2002
fatty
The Arlene's Grocery Neon Sign is a sight to behold. It even causes nipples to stand on end. (Digitally enlarged 6x for your viewing enjoyment). Yo, we saw this byrdz nippz before Colin and he went on three dates with her. Boo Yah!
heavy metal karaoke at arlenes grocery
December 30, 2002
fatty
NIPPLE!!!
heavy metal karaoke at arlenes grocery
December 30, 2002
fatty
"I heard you guys like the ROKK!" said the fatty as he turned up the voltage on his neck goiter.
heavy metal karaoke at arlenes grocery
December 30, 2002
fatty
Fatty couldn't resist getting of this last shot of Battjer rocking his tangerine shouldered ski jacket sans irony. The fucking balls on this kid. YOU GO GIRL!

THANKS FOR CAPTIONING THIS ENTRY FOR ME, GRANT!
heavy metal karaoke at arlenes grocery
December 30, 2002
fatty
Fatty takes time to demonstrate how he likes the ladies to handle his "mic".
heavy metal karaoke at arlenes grocery
December 30, 2002
fatty
The Fatty, Grant and Colin already pretty drunk at Don Hill's.
grant gets wasted
December 01, 2002
fatty
Here the New York Five homeward bound on Sunday evening.
boys weekend in montreal
November 22, 2002
fatty
The band formerly known as Jetsetera poses for a snow-ridden stroll down Mammary Lane.
boys weekend in montreal
November 22, 2002
fatty
Oh, and mirrored ceilings. You gotta have mirrored ceilings.
boys weekend in montreal
November 22, 2002
fatty
Saturday night we went the Quatro steakhouse where we all prompty fell in love with...
boys weekend in montreal
November 22, 2002
fatty
....a night out on the town! Seth being a pimped-ass high roller, he called in to have a limo chaffeur our asses around all night. Nothing says class like a white-stretch with neon underrunners, baby.
boys weekend in montreal
November 22, 2002
fatty
After a hard day of shopping and further sullying the repuations of Americans in general, we went back to our fancy hotel and got all dressed up for...
boys weekend in montreal
November 22, 2002
fatty
In Montreal, we met up with the three other guys (who drove in from Boston). Seth (the guy next to me), Chef (not pictured because he's being blocked by Fatty's head) and the uber-scary (and therefore edited out of most of the pictures) Ethan (gee, can you figure out which guy is the sociopath in the pic...c'mon, look carefully.).
boys weekend in montreal
November 22, 2002
fatty
Here's the New York Five, coldlamping in front of our pimpin' rented Blazer. From Left: Grant, Dave "Fatty" Fateman, Colin "Big Daddy" Gentle and Frank "Seven Layer" Picarazzi.
boys weekend in montreal
November 22, 2002
fatty
And here's Isabella "Tookie" Robertson, the woman who came up for the idea for the surprise party, and who also ruined the surprise by inviting Grant to his own surprise party. HAHAHA!
grant's 26th birthday
November 04, 2002
fatty
Em & Lo gave Grant Extra Sensitive condoms because he's an "extra sensitive" guy.
grant's 26th birthday
November 04, 2002
fatty
Smirnoff Ice is SO in, didn't you know?
halloween 2002
October 31, 2002
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Doug, Colin (as a Hillbilly), me and Dave (who, as he put it, was dressed as "some random punk-rocker type, um, guy or something").
halloween 2002
October 31, 2002
fatty
Dave and I repraZent on the law enforcement tip, yo.
halloween model party
October 31, 2001
I edited together this montage of some choice cuts of the hits from the evening. (My favorite moment is Fatty's expression at 3:20) Enjoy! Track listing:
1. Christmas Wrapping
2. I Can't Go for That
3. Christmas Wrapping (part 2)
4. Head Over Heels
5. Plush
6. Peace on Earth / Ziggy Stardust
7. Let's Go
8. Fairytale Of New York
9. Creep
10. Don't You Want Me
11. Do They Know It's Christmas?
the december roundup
December, 2015