comedy facial hair


comedy facial hair
...so you could see my blonde facial hair that had been coming in after a week of not shaving!
comedy facial hair
Jane Anne stood by to wish it a fond farewell!
comedy facial hair
The great facial hair-growing experiment that began 18 days earlier at the start of my RV Adventure finally came to an end. A new personal record!
comedy facial hair
Just the kind of thing to get my conspiracy-laden brain a-humming.
comedy facial hair
Morning moustache selfie! Definitely the most facial hair I've ever had in my life! Go follicles!
comedy facial hair
...and just lay on the floor...
comedy facial hair
Pancakes really helping the facial hair come in!
rv vacation
June 08, 2016
comedy facial hair
Checked in on my moustache growth. Impressive!
rv vacation
June 08, 2016
comedy facial hair
Later that evening I took the L train out to Brooklyn to meet up with Vin and hit a house party. While waiting for the train I spotted this guy dressed up in all pink!
comedy facial hair
...there are only losers! None of can understand where Bruce's moustache comes from. It's a family anomaly!
comedy facial hair
Back at the house, we packed up our stuff. Before showering and shaving, Steve and I compared the facial hair we'd both let grow out for the last 5 days. When two Battjers have a facial hair contest, it turns out that...
comedy facial hair
These gents took good care of me.
comedy facial hair
...in the Rent Is Too Damn High party!
comedy facial hair
I thought this one should've stayed!
comedy facial hair
...and so we could watch Jared slowly shave his beard off by doing different comedy beards!
comedy facial hair
The next morning I woke up at 1:30pm to find this guy on the couch sleeping with sunglasses and a top-notch creeper-stache!
comedy facial hair
Yes! Wah-wah-wispy! I was dying to shave it off, but I promised Grant that I'd at least let him get a quick look at it before shaving it off.
comedy facial hair
After Grant and Amanda had finished admiring it, I announced that it was time for my "wispytee" to disappear and busted out my electric clippers. I turned them on and brought them to my face, then realized (with horror) that the hairs were too long for the electric clipper to work because they wouldn't go inside the screen! It was like a horror movie when it dawned on my that I was going to have to spend the rest of my night out in public...
comedy facial hair
...looking like this. Hahaha.
comedy facial hair
...the facial hair I let grow for eleven days! HAHAHAHAHAH. Everyone I know always laughs about my inability to grow facial hair. If I go for more than a day without shaving I get these sparse little whiskers that make it look like I have a dirty face. But figuring this would be one of the few times in my life that I'd be going for over 10 days without having to interact with anyone, I decided to let my majestic facial hair grow and see what it looked like. Are you ready for the close-up?
comedy facial hair
(Grant gives Dith the evil eye)
comedy facial hair
Those of you who know me know that I couldn't grow facial hair to save my life. Seriously, fifteen year olds with "dirtstaches" put me to shame. But after admiring Grant's crazy-ass cowboy beard, I decided that I wouldn't shave for six days and see what it looked like. And six days later...BLAMO! Check out my fucking beard!

What do you mean you can't see anything? Maybe you just need a closer look...
comedy facial hair
Grant's beard was pretty manly, but I think if I had another day or two I could've outdone him.
comedy facial hair
...see? Check out that moustache. I'm practically Tom Selleck all over again.
comedy facial hair
John Craven, Grant and Fatty. (Fatty pulls that face everytime a camera comes out, he just can't help it. He was telling us that when his brother's wedding pics came back he got yelled at because he was doing that face in every single pic he was in. hahaha).
comedy facial hair
If you look carefully at Grant's cheeks, you'll see the joke facial hair he grew special for night. (Yeah, it's a little patchy, I know. But if you squint a bit it looks filled in).
comedy facial hair
Grant's (who's from the UK and shouldn't have a problem with Irish accents) struggles to decipher this guy's drink order without getting a punch in the eye.