Around 3pm we decided to pack it up, but not before I tried to take a sweet photo of the two of us together and Meredith made this totally amazing face behind my back. Hahaha. I love how it looks like she's actually licking my shoulder.
...the monkey was just excited about all of us! Homeboy was packing!. Boy, thirty years old and still doing stuff like pretending an inflatable monkey's tail is a giant inflatable monkey-penis. I guess my eighth-grade guidance counselor was right about me all along! (At least he was wrong about the whole "ending up in jail" part! Er, at least so far anyway).
If you would've asked fifteen year-old me what I'd be doing on the night of my thirtieth birthday, I know without a doubt that he wouldn't have even come close to describing this photo.
Here's is our masterpiece! It's called See-Through Birthday Suit at Thirty. The saran-wrap garment serves as a skin-metaphor for identity and reminds us that that the world is new to us each and every morning. Which means, we are reborn a new each and every day.
...and we teamed up for this incredibly hot photo. (I don't know if you know this, but I'm going to let you in on a huge secret: WE ARE HUGE FUCKING DORKS.)
And Siege snapped a few funny pics of Mer and I goofing around on the beach with his fancy cam. (Thanks for sending these over, Siege!). Here's our impression of that old Coppertone advertisement where a little dog is tugging at a girl's bathing suit.
When the band got back on stage, they called me up to sing! "Don't Stop" is pretty much one of the best karaoke songs of all time and one of the few times that I actually don't mind that fact that I was pretty much born with a woman's voice. Check out the singer all like "Holy shit, this guy's a eunuch!"
Last song of the night! I may not have won the competition, but I definitely went home feeling like a winner! (Cue sitcom audience applause and outro music from Growing Pains).
If, by the time I die, tombstones with embedded video screens are commonplace, someone please make sure that this photo makes it into the cemetery slideshow. Thanks. (Photo by Leo Zacharias)
...Black Face Jesus needed to be BRAINED! Hahahahah. It's with great pleasure that I present to you this photo of me, a stranger from the internet, Black Face Jesus, and my balls.
...I think it's safe to say that Meredith and my TEAM UGLY FACE prevailed. The best thing about "UGLY FACE" is that it usually always leads to you making friends with people who overhear you laughing and are like "Yo, what the FUCK are you guys doing?" And then after you explain their like "Oh..."
My ugly face! (Hahahah. Jesus. I know I've done this face like a million times and I should be used to it...but even I've got to say that this particular instance is shockingly ugly!
