The June Roundup

So after years of interest, I finally managed to get accepted into one of the ten day programs to learn Vispassana Meditation. Vipassana is one of the oldest types of meditation and is taught in (free) 10-day courses throughout the world in centers that have been created by an Indian man named S.N. Goenka. If you're interested in learning a bit more about what Vipassana meditation is, you should check out this link.

The course was held in the town of Shelburne in Western Mass. Early, early Wednesday morning I hopped on a bus with a bunch of Saffron-robed monks and headed northeast.

The bus arrived in Shelburne and I had a few hours to wander around before I was required at the Vipassana center for check in.

The town was super-quaint.

I found an awesome Korean restaurant and ended up getting my motherfucking BiBimBab on. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Okay, all of the rest of the photos that I have of the center were taken 11 days later on the morning of my departure. Upon arrival at the center, I had to turn in all electronic devices (phones, cameras, etc) and all books and magazines. Here's a quick overview of the code of behavior all attendants were expected to follow:

- no killing any living thing.
- only two simple meals a day (tea and a piece of fruit was served as a snack in lieu of dinner).
- separation of men and women.
- no sexual or sensual touch (no masturbation).
- no intoxicants of any time.
- no touching any other person
- no music, books, magazines, etc.
- NO TALKING or eye contact for the entire 10 days.

Pretty hardcore, right? Well, wait to you see the schedule that we followed for 10 entire days:

4:00 a.m.---------------------Morning wake-up bell
4:30-6:30 a.m.----------------Meditate in the hall or in your room
6:30-8:00 a.m.----------------Breakfast break
8:00-9:00 a.m.----------------Group meditation in the hall
9:00-11:00 a.m.---------------Meditate in the hall or in your room according to the teacher's instructions
11:00-12:00 noon--------------Lunch break
12noon-1:00 p.m.--------------Rest and interviews with the teacher
1:00-2:30 p.m.----------------Meditate in the hall or in your room
2:30-3:30 p.m.----------------Group meditation in the hall
3:30-5:00 p.m.----------------Meditate in the hall or in your own room ��according to the teacher's instructions
5:00-6:00 p.m.----------------Tea break
6:00-7:00 p.m.----------------Group meditation in the hall
7:00-8:15 p.m.----------------Teacher's Discourse in the hall
8:15-9:00 p.m.----------------Group meditation in the hall
9:00-9:30 p.m.----------------Question time in the hall
9:30 p.m.---------------------Retire to your own room--Lights out

If you look at the daily schedule, you'll realize that (in addition to being woken up at 4am!!! Whaaaa???) we also spent no less than 10 hour and 45 minutes each day practicing the meditation technique. So while the no talking and no eye contact part was difficult, it was spending over 10 hours a day, in one hour increments, not moving at all and working on the meditation technique that was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.

Here's the shitty-ass, leaky tent I spent my first few nights there freezing my ass off in. After my third, cold, damp, practically sleepless night in this thing, I finally requested a meeting with the head of the camp to see if there were better accommodations because I was having trouble staying awake during meditation after so little sleep. The instructor explained to me that it was an administrative mistake and no students were supposed to be in those tents.

I was then taken to the dorm building and shown to my spotless, brand new, private room. Hahahaha. Doh! So I basically spent my first three days there suffering in the woods BY ACCIDENT.

All the rooms even had their own private bathroom and shower. Two hours of meditation in the morning from 4:30am - 6:30am may be difficult, but it's a hell of a lot easier in a warm, clean room than it is in a leaky, damp, smelly, bug-ridden tent in the middle of the woods! Hahah.

Here is the foot path that goes around the perimeter of the entire camp. You're not allowed to do any type of exercise, but after each 1 hour of sitting without moving, everyone was allowed to "walk the path and reflect" for 5 or 10 minutes before the next hour-long session would start.

So what little time I had my eyes open for the 10 days, this is pretty much all that I saw.

Yep, that good ol' path.

Here's the men's cafeteria where I at my two meals a day. (The women were separate and had their own cafeteria and facilities.). It's really weird to eat with group of strangers twice a day for 10 days not and not be allowed to speak or make any eye contact. By the end of then 10 days, I'd given them all names and imagined a personality and a back-story for each of them. It was really funny on the last day when the "noble silence" ended and we were all allowed to talk to meet everyone and find out that I'd been way off on how I'd imagined what each person's personality would be and what their voices would sound like. But not nearly as funny as...

...the facial hair I let grow for eleven days! HAHAHAHAHAH. Everyone I know always laughs about my inability to grow facial hair. If I go for more than a day without shaving I get these sparse little whiskers that make it look like I have a dirty face. But figuring this would be one of the few times in my life that I'd be going for over 10 days without having to interact with anyone, I decided to let my majestic facial hair grow and see what it looked like. Are you ready for the close-up?

Yes! Wah-wah-wispy! I was dying to shave it off, but I promised Grant that I'd at least let him get a quick look at it before shaving it off.

Later that night, I was back in New York. I called up Grant and told him I'd returned and that I had some pretty sweet facial hair to show off. Grant asked me to come meet him and Amanda at a bar they were at in the East Village. At first I refused (because I was afraid that I'd run into people I knew with my facial hair), but then I decided that I'd just bring along my electric razor and shave the thing off as soon as they'd gotten a chance to see it laugh at it. Look how bad Grant wants to touch it! JEALOUS MUCH? Hahah.

After Grant and Amanda had finished admiring it, I announced that it was time for my "wispytee" to disappear and busted out my electric clippers. I turned them on and brought them to my face, then realized (with horror) that the hairs were too long for the electric clipper to work because they wouldn't go inside the screen! It was like a horror movie when it dawned on my that I was going to have to spend the rest of my night out in public...

...looking like this. Hahaha.

I got home late to find my lovely lady sleeping in her favorite position (feet up in the air crossed at the ankles) and snuck into bed with her, happy to be home. As difficult as my trip was, it was also one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had - so if you have any interest at all, I highly recommend it. (Although, I found it very hard to keep up the expected practice once I returned to my normal life. According to the Vispassana way, you're supposed to meditate for at least two hours every day, and you're also supposed to abstain from all intoxicants. I managed to stick with the regiment for about 4 months before I stopped daily practice (and started boozing it up again).

On Monday afternoon, I met up with Leigh and we had ourselves a tasty Red Bamboo lunch.

Then later that night I went over to Sarah's house to bro-down with her and Ellen and watch some TV.

We were watching Entourage on demand, and when we paused it to get up to answer the door, check out the expression we managed to capture on Johnny Drama's face. Hahahahaha. So amazing.

Oh, this was also the night we learned that Cory Feldman (yes, that Corey Feldman) had moved into Sarah's building and was living ON HER FLOOR in the apartment just three doors away! Hahah.

Friday I went over to Tinny's to help her set up her brand new computer (that she had to buy because her laptop was on its deathbed).

She was so excited to see it up and running that she had no choice but to hulahoop.

Later that night, Tinny got herself all dressed up (she cleans up nice, no?)...

...and we went to Orchard Bar for Sarah and Karen's party. We got there late and the dance floor was practically empty...save for this dude who was tearing it up in his flip flops! Hahah.

Yeeeeeee-aaaaahhhhhh!

Hahahaha.

For many a-year, we've all joked around about how Sarah loves her Sidekick so much she'd probably marry it.

Well, in mid-June I started subletting a room in Sarah's apt (while Gurj was out of town for a few months) and learned the truth when Sarah got up to shower: Sarah Lewitinn sleeps with her Sidekick! Sarah Lewitinn sleeps with her Sidekick!

Later that night I went to see a band at the Mercury Lounge...and I ran into...

...Hot Corri (who I always want to make out with but she's always dating someone!) seen here making fun of my choice footwear. Hahah.

Late night I went to my new "home" at Sarah's apartment. We stayed up late watching TV and playing dress up. Here's Sarah's impression of an Olsen twin.

Hahahaha. Amazing.

We laughed about born again kids in Brooklyn saving themselves for marriage (because Jesus said so) that decided to smoke a fucking tobacco hookah for their picture in Rolling Stone. WTF? That's like a total double-whammy of cheese.

Then I let Sarah put make up on me.

We were both shocked to realize that with make up on I sorta look like an older blonde version of Greg Krelenstein.

On Thursday I packed up the last of my stuff from Meredith's apartment and brought it over to my newly sublet room at Sarah's apartment! (Thanks for tolerating my ass in your 300 sq. ft. studio for almost six whole months, gorgeous!)

Before leaving, I left a surprise in the bathroom (er, one that's better than the surprises I usually leave in there!). Meredith was cast as in a model for one of the Apple catalogs and they ended up hanging a huge banner of her up in the Apple store in SoHo. Our friend Lauren worked there at the time and I asked her to save it for me when they took it down (because Meredith's mom was so proud she wanted it. Hahahah).

So I hung it up and left her a lil' thank you note.

Goodbye Apt A. (And I'll see you soon enough, roomie.)

Late night I met up with Vinay and Dave (the ladies' choice) and we bro'ed down at Cherry Tavern - Tijuana Specials and trash talk.

Saturday I walked around with Vin and we ate at my favorite Korean restaurant on Grand Street.

Then later that night I went to some art opening in SoHo to see my friend Happy (who graciously let us all stay at her place when we took a trip from SF to LA.)! She was in town from LA because she plays the vibraphone in...

...Ray Barbee's band!

Before the show, Happy introduced me to one of her friends that was also there to see the show. The two of us sat together and after every song we'd clap and yell out things like "Yay, Happy!" and "You're awesome, Happy!" A few songs in we noticed that we were getting some strange looks from fellow audience members and then we realized that none of them probably realized that our friend's name was Happy. And then we realized that they all thought we were expressing our emotional state ("Yay, Happy!") at the end of each song. Hahahah.

Later that night I met up with Sarah at the Delancey to see a band called What About Frank? that she was thinking about signing to her label at the time.

They were alright, but the best part of the band, hands down, was...

...the bass player who looked like the illegitimate child of John Oates caught on his was to soccer practice. (Dude, are those Umbros you're wearing, dude?)

Late, late that night I went over to Misshapes and Ellen introduced me to her (equally genetically blessed) little brother! (See dude? I told you I'd eventually get your pic on the web! It only took me, what, almost two years?)

Look who I found (literally) hiding out in the back!

Looks like someone's been a very, very naughty pageant girl. Haha. (Believe it or not, that wig is pretty much Leigh's natural color!)

On Sunday, I moved the last of my stuff into my new sublet at Sarah's, got my own set of keys, and got to officially add my name to the list the lengthy roster of people that are able to proudly call themselves "Occupants of Apt. 3A."

Hey, know what? Jordan Silver reads US Weekly! Jordan Silver reads US Weekly!

Sarah showing off the advance check she received from the publisher that hired her to write her very first book!

Late night I met up with Tins and we stayed up late shooting the shit on a park bench on Allen St.

Then I returned to my new room at Chez Sarah. Before leaving her room to me for the summer, Gurj explained that the air conditioner in the room "didn't work all that well." I pulled out the air filter and realized why - it hadn't been cleaned...ever. After I'd managed to fill up half of a giant styrofoam coffee cup with the gunk I cleaned out of the filter, the AC worked just fine. Score!

While browsing at Tower Records one afternoon, I came across the new Tsar record...that was affixed with the most depressing sticker I think I've ever seen in my life.

Ugh. Contains that song that you heard in the FUCKING NESTLE CRUNCH COMMERCIAL....THIS IS REAL ROCK N' ROLL! Imagine that poor band having to try to keep a pretend-smile on their face as their label's "marketing guy" explained this to them. Ooooof.

Later that evening I met up with Grant at L'asso (one of my favoritest restaurants in all of NYC) to eat fresh pizza and celebrate the new issue of...

...New York Magazine that contained a story by Grant with photos taken by me (thanks for hooking it up, Grizz).

The two pics at the top were from a Slip N' Slide roof party I attended one of my last nights in New York before I moved away to San Francisco.

Then later that evening I went to Sin-E to see Jared & Jesse's former band, Group Sounds. While Group Sounds were fun to watch...

...their drummer broke one of the cardinal "Rules of Rock" that states: "If you are a drummer, you may wear gloves, or you may go shirtless. Never both." Hahahah. (I'm not going to even mention the neckerchief, Randy. Jeeeesus. Hahaha.).

Neckerchief aside, they always managed to get the crowd going. (Jesse and Jared are in a new band called Generals & Majors that are really, really fun live - they're like a glammy version of The Misfits and they have a singer named RatBite. No shit. If you live in NYC, do yourself a favor and try to attend one of their shows).

Anyway, back to Group Sounds. Group Sounds had a keyboard player named "Sexy Joe" that would strip down on stage while playing until he (usually) ended up buck naked. After the show, I convinced Sexy Joe to get naked again (in the middle of the street!) so I could take some band pics. Hahaha.

He dropped trou right as Mer came out for a smoke and somehow she ended up getting....

...dragged into the mix. Hahahah.

Oh. My. God. Hahaha.

Sexy Joe leaned forward and accidentally put his Sexy Penis right on Meredith's shoulder.

Jared laughed so hard he threw up a little bit.

It was amazing.

I love you, Sexy Joe!

On Wednesday morning, Leigh called me and told me that she'd been attacked by a guy while trying to get into her apartment the previous night. The guy grabbed her by her purse, and dragged her down her building's (marble) front steps, but she screamed at the top of her lungs and kicked him (with stiletto heels on!) and in the end, he ended up running away (with a badly punctured leg) before he could manage to get her bag. Leigh showing off her battle scars!

And one here.

And also here from where she gouged herself with her own heel! Owie!

Nothing cheers up a convalescing friend like a summery blouse! I was only happy to oblige!

"I'd fuck me."

"I'd fuck me so hard"

Later that night we all headed over to some Elle Girl magazine party that Leigh...

...and the rest of the Misshapes were DJing.

Merlin, Sarah and Leigh.

While wandering around, I noticed that Krispy Kreme had a table set up (at a teen magazine party???) and were handing out FREE FUCKING DONUTS! Even better, Kendra, the girl manning the table, turned out to be a reader of this site and was kind enough...