i keep a diary

tagged together in 2 photos in 2003

me + surprise

me×!surprise×
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me + surprise
Unfazed by all the grab-ass, I kept on dancing with her - and then, while she was dancing behind me a few minutes later, Fraces, a sixty-seven year old woman, a senior citizen for God's sake, full-on reached around and grabbed my junk. With both hands. I reported back to Grant who at first, didn't believe me. Conversation went something like this:

Me: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!
Grant: What?
Me: Frances just grabbed my dick!
Grant (confused): What do you mean?
Me: What do you mean 'What do I mean?' I mean, she GRABBED MY DICK!
Grant: No way.
Me: Yes way.
Grant: Really?
Me: Yes, I think she totally wants to make out with me!
Grant: She wouldn't make out with you! And you wouldn't make out with her!
Me: Sure I would, why not?
Grant (angered): NO FUCKING WAY! YOU WOULDN'T!
Me (confused): Um, yes I would.
Grant (exasperated): DUDE! She's an OLD LADY!
Me: So?
Grant: There's NO WAY in the world you'd make out with her! NO WAY!
Me: Well, I mean I'm not gonna take her out back and give her stinky pinky or anything, but I'd kiss her.
Grant: YOU WOULD NOT KISS HER! SHUT UP!
Me: Yes I would.
Grant: I'll bet you anything you won't kiss her.
Me: Okay, like what?
Grant: I bet you dinner at Peter Luger's Steakhouse!
Me: If I kiss her you'll buy me a full dinner at Peter Luger's?
Grant: Yes.
Me: All I have to do is kiss Frances?
Grant: With TONGUE!
Me: Done. Shake on it.

And with those words, and a handshake to seal the deal - I walked over to Frances and...

my 27th birthday party
August 08, 2003
me + surprise
Grant licks Lorelei's hair while I try to make the "I can't believe Alex made out with half of our interns" expression go away.
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003