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me×!best×

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Also on hand was Matt Weiner; an RHS alumnus, a Syracuse alumnus and he lives right down the goddamned street from me in NYC. For those of you new to my site, Matt is so revered for making faces that there have been contests held to pay homage.
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Okay, this pic is from a few weeks earlier when Laura was in town for "The Rules of Attraction" premeire...but it's the greatest picture ever and I didn't include it earlier so here it is.
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Just for the record, that's not me making the rabbit ears behind him.
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No stranger to whipping out my own bag, I handed over the camera and teamed up with Grant for this amazing photo. (Look at our faces!!! nd bonus points to me for actually resting my nuts on the guys chair.)
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Okay, question for you: How the fuck did we not get thrown out of the bar??? I'm standing on one of the booths, screaming and doing a David Lee Roth kick while both Martin and Jessica get ready to touch my package. This is at like 10pm on a Wednesday!?! (Also, look over to the left of me...aren't those the same two girls from before making out? It's an hour and a half later and they're still going at it).
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Sitting on.
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And unfortunately, it was also apparently a really good place to get bitten by bugs. Big fucking bugs. I mean, do you see the size of that bug bite?
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The rock is good for laying on.
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Me and Tookie. See that lake in the background? That's the lake the Tookie's house is on!
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Mountain-man, Brian Battjer.
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Touch it! Touch it!
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Before I had to go back to the conference on Friday morning, Sarah took me over to a restaurant called "Bennett's Smut n' Eggs." This is a breakfast-oriented diner that has TVs all over the place playing hardcore pornography.
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Reconciliation.
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Grant was getting sentimental watching all the little kids get swung around by one of the Dads there. Hating to see him down, I was happy to indulge him in a little trip down memory lane.
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"It's not a perm! It's called a body wave motherFUCKER!"
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Hahahaha.
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After warming up the front, Mommy moved the party around back. Damn!
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...only because this photo is the greatest. Look at who's large and in charge at the back of the caboose. Frances in the muthafucking hizzouse, you know what I'm sayin?
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Dave G (The Ladies' Choice) has got to get with the program! He's all in the background making his "Party Guy Face" when we clearly told him that it was a "Blue Steel" moment.
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Yo, so what's a white boy to do? Motherfucking dance, that's what.
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Check out my hand on her bald, little head as I shake it down! This is probably the second greatest photo on my website...
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Spitroast, y'all.
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Cold Lamping Group Pose #423. Word.