i keep a diary

a thing in 419 photos

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Susan and Harlan.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
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Here's Ross completely bewildered by the magic of his MAGIC WALLET.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
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And last but not least, a color-your-own "Velvet-Art" Unicorn Poster. Awwww, yeah. Who loves ya, baby?
tara's 21st birthday and goodbye party
September 30, 2003
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Oh, and mints and gum. LOTS of mints and gum. Anyone who's talked to Tara in a room smaller than a convention center knows why she got these. Babygirl's got breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit-truck at 40 yards. Hahahahaha. (Okay, Tara doesn't really have bad breaffff at all. I just totally made that up because I heard my uncle say that buzzard line at a family party like 10 months ago and I've been patiently waiting to use it somewhere on this site but the opportunity just hasn't presented itself. So Tara, you're my inadvertant bad breath casuality. Sorry, sugar.)
tara's 21st birthday and goodbye party
September 30, 2003
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Here are the "Healthy Brain Pills" that can only be procured in Chinatown in a store near my house. Now that Tara's getting up there in years, I decided it would be a crime to risk her not having a healthy brain.
tara's 21st birthday and goodbye party
September 30, 2003
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Then it was time for the birthday girl to open PRESENTS! It's my firm belief that no DVD home library is complete with out Richard's Pryor's 1982 seminal cinema-classic, The Toy.
tara's 21st birthday and goodbye party
September 30, 2003
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Which left the black one for me.
the september roundup part one
September, 2003
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Grant went with "right" which meant that he got the white, sleeveless "Wildwood" baby-tee.
the september roundup part one
September, 2003
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...and one of me displaying my Jersey Shore Salt Water Birthday Taffy (and then my camera died - which is why there are no more pics from this night).
my 27th birthday party
August 08, 2003
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The day after Christmas, Amy and Scott came by my parents house to visit with the kids. Liam opens a gift from my mom and dad.
xmas with the fam
December 25, 2002
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I managed to net a much larger fish - check me out holding my fancy "Learn to Speak Spanish" software that I asked for.

Dad to me a few weeks later: "So, is the Spanish software working?"
Me: "Yes."
My Dad: "En espanol, por favor." Me: "Si."
xmas with the fam
December 25, 2002
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Dad, pictured here doin' what he calls "a little jig," shows off the "learn how to not slice when you swing" golf club we bought him.
xmas with the fam
December 25, 2002
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In my family, we buy ourselves what we want for Christmas, and we open whatever we bought well before Christmas arrives...so on Xmas eve, we only have a few, smaller gifts to open. Here's Brett holding his bounty of two books.
xmas with the fam
December 25, 2002
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Em & Lo gave Grant Extra Sensitive condoms because he's an "extra sensitive" guy.
grant's 26th birthday
November 04, 2002
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...which turned out to be this hot-ass, electric-Mermaid toothbrush. (Mom's Xmas message to her sons: Brett needs to lose weight. Brian needs to brush his teeth. hehe.)
it's christmas with the battjers!
December 25, 2001
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My brother only had one present under the tree (from our mom) and it turned out to be a book on how to lose weight. He got all offended and started saying things like "Merry Christmas, Son...You're Fat!" In this pic he's just read the title and you can see his face starting to just turn sour.
it's christmas with the battjers!
December 25, 2001
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Dad actually has a gift to open from Brett & I! We wrote him a two page epic poem upon his retirement and we had them framed for his new home-office wall.
it's christmas with the battjers!
December 25, 2001
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Here's me getting ready to open my one present (from mom).
it's christmas with the battjers!
December 25, 2001
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I love presents!
an indorvillage xmas
December, 2000