Ok, it's storytime. In the midst of all my stoopid yelling about how
I was OWNING with all my Triple Buck Bonus Action (which, for the record,
I totally was doing), I looked over towards the door and noticed
this really hot blonde girl watching us acting all interested. Well,
ok - at first we assumed her "interest" was just her laughing
at us for being the video game-playing losers that we are, but then
a few minutes later, she walked over to us, then in a *swoon* Eastern-European
accent introduced herself as Larissa and asked if "we minded her
joining in."
Right before I handed her the gun, she flashed a million dollar smile
and warned us all that she once held the high score in "Time Crisis."
(which is another shooting game). (Tall, hot, foreign and kick-ass
at video games?)
Fast forward forty agonizing minutes, and like twenty-something rounds
later and Larissa's still not yet managed to shoot ONE GODDAMNED BUCK.
Seriously not one. Not even by accident!
She was getting really angry and told us "I'll be right back."
and she um, never came back. Which was actually a relief because at
that point I was running out of clever, encouraging things to say after
each time she failed to grasp the (seemingly basic) concept of "shooting
a video game rifle."
After all that, you might think that when she tried to sneak out past
us twenty minutes later that I'd ignore her...well that's where you'd
be wrong, sir. I followed her out and asked her for her number and was
promptly told that she "had a boyfriend." I thought I was
getting the royal brush-off, but two days later, Grant saw her in Union
Square with her boyfriend.
Me: "Really? What was he like?" Grant: "Some old rich dude." Me: "Really? Fack! How rich?" Grant: "Real rich." Me: "How old?" Grant: "Real old. I'll
bet you anything he's got 'salt and pepper' pubes."
Where are all the smoking, hot Eastern European girls who are really
good at video games, huh? Email
me.
(Post Script - Apparently Grant saw Larissa in Williamsburg
the other day and she was with some young, good looking guy. So at this
point it's unconfirmed whether or not "SaltNPeppa" was, in
fact, her boyfriend.)
..."Triple Bull Bonus" (This was in the next round where we had moved on up north to Canada and were hunting Moose Bulls instead of Deer Bucks, ya heard?)
...slick-ass buck marksmen like myself incite riots amongst the onlookers by scoring a PERFECT MUTHAFUCKING SITE-AHHH! (That's the coveted "Triple Buck Bonus" for all y'all non-players out there).
Vin and I were tooling around the East Village and we deciding to pop into Ace Bar...where (like Dennis Crowley before us) we were promptly sucked into playing two solid hours of Big Buck Hunter II.
