The funniest part of the night is when I sat down to look something up on Fatty's computer and when I typed in the letters "G" and "I," Fatty's Google history totally sold him out and revealed one of his previous Google searches: "gifts for guys that like guitars with babies" that was clearly from when he used Google to try to figure out what to get his little brother for the holidays. This is fucking priceless and I still laugh every time I see it.
Grant was so distracted, that he eventually just ended up inviting the guy up on stage. Things got even weirder when he produced a Minnie Mouse hand puppet from out of thin air.
As we were nearing the Bay Area, there were all of these crazy-colored bodies of water. I'm hoping it's not pollution, but whatever was causing it, it sure was pretty!
...or the fact that he was accompanied to the park by an actual woman. Seen here hiding her face. Which I'm sure is only because of the sun. (What, you mean you'd be embarrassed to have a parrot on your ass?)
On Friday afternoon I hopped on the Eastside uptown bus near the United Nations to visit a certain someone at their new job at Playgirl Magazine. Can you guess who it was by looking at their desk? Let's see....Golden Girls DVD Box Set, Silly Hat and "Red Boy" Brand ginormous DILDO! Hmmm....If you guessed...
...Grant Stoddard, you are correct, sir! Back in May Grant briefly worked (as a Staff Writer? Editor?) at Playgirl Magazine. A few weeks after starting, his book sold and he promptly left.
Before any of the assfucking could get underway, some crazy girl (who was spotted smoking crack earlier in the night) started causing all sorts of problems and tried to get into a fistfight with a fat, gay dude. Jake tried to get her to calm down and she FREAKED THE FUCK OUT ON HIM. Literally, she went out of her mind. After three or four scary minutes, Jake finally managed to get her and her friends to leave the party. But as he was closing the door on them downstairs, she snatched his glasses off his face and ran out into the street. Jake followed her and when he tried to grab his glasses back from her, she bit his hand, grabbed the glasses back, broke them in half, threw them into the street and then ran away laughing.
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