the may roundup: part one

may, 2006

I took a whole bunch of random photos in May of 2006! So here's Part One of the May Roundup! Monday, May 1st I started the month of May off strong by throwing down with a Karaoke Killed the Cat karaoke night right off the bat!    tags: karaoke strangers No idea at all who this guy was, but his...    tags: karaoke strangers ...throw himself down onto the floor, over-the-top karaoke performance made my camera come out!    tags: karaoke strangers Well done, sir!    tags: karaoke strangers Same goes for this broseph - no idea who he was, but when he jumped down off that karaoke stage and took the mic "out into the crowd," he landed himself a place right inside my karaoke-heart. Awwww.    tags: karaoke strangers Check out homeboy bringing it! The blonde girl in the background is fucking shocked and shit. She CAN'T HANDLE the 'roke he's dishing.    tags: karaoke strangers Other brosephs were so overcome with bromance that they were fainting into his arms. Epic.    tags: bromance karaoke strangers The place was pretty much packed with all people I didn't recognize...at least until Shandi took with stage to sing a duet with Kareem (who I don't know but I like his photography a lot).    tags: kareem black shandi duet karaoke They killed it.    tags: kareem black shandi duet karaoke Afterwards, I went around the corner over to the Annex to say hi to Sarah and Karen who were there DJing.    tags: sarah dj I ran into my buddy Jared on the dancefloor! (Jared was the lead singer of the now defunct New York band, Group Sounds. They recently released what is HANDS DOWN, the funniest music video I've ever seen in my life. I know I say that about a lot of things, but trust me on this. Take three minutes out of your day right now and watch it: Temporarily in Love by Group Sounds.    tags: jared Me and Karen! I like how this photo...    tags: karen me ....sort of lines up with this photo and you can see why we're making the expressions that we're making!    tags: legs skirt Jared (hahaha), Brandon and Sarah.    tags: brandon jared sarah Karen totally managed to get Jared's weiner out on the dance floor! Woot!    tags: jared karen Friday, May 5th On Friday night I put on a tiny, white corduroy jacket with tiny, tiny little pockets and just stood around.    tags: me corduroy jacket Saturday, May 6th On Saturday night I went to MisShapes with Brandon and Sarah (seen here with Sean Dack sneaking in the last-minute bird). It was so hot and crowded and sweaty that we tried to hide out in a tiny corner in the back.    tags: brandon sarah sean dack misshapes the bird I was at the bar getting a drink with Leigh and Alexis when, out of nowhere, Fancy (yes, that's his name) ran over to say hi to Leigh...    tags: alexis fancy leigh misshapes and suddenly, an impromptu arm wrestling match broke out! They fiercely locked arms...    tags: alexis fancy leigh arm wrestle misshapes ...and then it was ON!    tags: alexis fancy leigh arm wrestle misshapes I know it looks like they're kidding around, but I assure you, this was DEADLY SERIOUS. Here they are approaching the end of minute one and they're still locked up at the top! (Check out Alexis' face as she cheers them on. Hahaha!)    tags: alexis fancy leigh arm wrestle misshapes Here's Leigh summoning an extra jolt of power from her broken, wonky finger. In the end, they called it a draw! Fancy should've totally turned his hat around backwards and turned "from a man to a MACHINE!", ala Lincoln Hawk (!!!), the competitive arm wrestler (expertly!) portrayed by Sylvester Stallone's in the greatest (only?) arm wrestling-themed movie of all time: "Over the Top". What's that? You've never heard of this incredible movie? Dont' worry, YouTube's got you covered. Not to go too far off onto an "Over the Top" tangent, but I think it's probably important (cathartic?) for me to mention that not only did I see this movie in the theater during its original theatrical run, I saw this movie on my very first date! How insane is that? I was in fifth grade, and Geri Fox and I went on a double date with Jimmy Rotsides and Renee Rusch! Hahaha. Afterwards, the girls' parents picked them up and then Jimmy and I went to the Ledgewood Mall where I bought one-pound bag of watermelon jellybeans (at Sound-o-rama!) and then went and slept over Jimmy's house. We talked about how awesome our dates went and how awesome we were for taking "our girls" to the "right" movie. I ended up eating the entire one-pound bag of jellybeans and threw up in the middle of night. Holy jeez, what memories! How did I get so old? And now it's time for the "where are they now" part of this VH1 series: Geri Fox is married, I ran into her and met her husband at Bev Chase's wedding! Jimmy Rotsides, unfortunately, died. He sort of grew up into a rough character and sometime around '99 or so he ended up falling out of a canoe while fishing and drowned in a pond in my home town. Sad. As for Renee Rusch, I have no idea what happened to her! So Renee, if you ever read this, say hi! (Okay, this is starting to sound like the lyrics to a Bryan Adams' song "Jimmy died, Geri got married..." so I guess that means it's time to leave memory lane and get back to...    tags: alexis fancy leigh arm wrestle finger misshapes ...the present! After the arm wrasslin' bout, I ran into Lauren Flax! Who was...    tags: lauren flax misshapes ...soft-packin' a big pink mic! Hahah.    tags: beer mic misshapes Lauren's good friend Crazy Jay was there. He took Lauren's inflatable microphone and showed off his...    tags: crazy jay mic misshapes ...skillz! Hahaha. He was so proud of this. He kept being like "Dude, check it! Check it! I have no gag reflex. I can take this mic ALL THE WAY DOWN!" Hahaha.    tags: crazy jay blow job misshapes Then he flipped the mic around to show-off how he could also get his mouth "completely around the wide-part too!" Just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer...    tags: crazy jay blow job misshapes ...Jay's buddy swept in for a little double-dong action. Hahahah.    tags: crazy jay blow job duet misshapes Then I ran into Posh Tony and some cute (Australian?) girl he was with. (By the way, I don't know if you can tell from this photo, but Posh Tony looks EXACTLY like a "white version" of JB Smoove, the black dude who plays Leon on the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Hahahahah.)    tags: posh tony misshapes Here's another pic of the cute girl while Posh Tony can be seen in the background incessantly flapping his gums (as he's wont to do).    tags: posh tony misshapes Here's me making the same stupid face...    tags: me misshapes ...twice in a row with different girls! It's 4am in this photo and the bar was closed. In the midst of taking stupid pics with Lauren...    tags: lauren flax me misshapes ...there was a vampire attack! HISS!    tags: leigh misshapes vampire Look out! Look out! Hair-biting vampire attack!    tags: lauren flax leigh me misshapes pick vampire A half an hour later, I went downstairs to get my coat and lookee who I found catchin' a lil' nap down in the basement. Hey, we all need a break sometimes. ; )    tags: leigh best misshapes sleepy Monday, May 8th On Monday I got the issue of New York Magazine that...    tags: magazine new york ...named Sarah and Leigh as two of New York's "Most Influential New Yorkers!" Here's the two-page spread of my two lovelies side by side! Congrats, you two!    tags: leigh sarah magazine Later that night I went out with Amanda. We got lifted.    tags: amanda me Tuesday, December 30th Ok! Here's a doozy of a night for you! On Thursday night I went to the Annex to celebrate Gurj's birthday! Here's the birthday girl with her heart-throb, Rob Stevenson!    tags: gurj rob stevenson birthday On the way in to the party I ran into (Sketchy!) Jimmy Mullen, Grant and Viola (who used to throw the most ridiculous Halloween Parties ever...see Halloween 2002 and Halloween 2001). Jimmy and Viola were on their way out, which means that they missed my "performance" later on in the evening.    tags: grant jimmy mullen viola haqi That's right, I wasn't just at Gurj's birthday as a friend, I was there as a hired performer! You see, Sarah had been unsuccessful in her attempts to hire a male stripper and so she ended up asking me if I'd be willing to do it (Sarah knew all about my previous experience as a male stripper). She offered to pay me, but in the end I told her I'd settle for being paid back the money she already owed me! Hahaha. So around 1am that night, they called Gurj up onto the stage, and in front of pretty much all of our friends...    tags: me sarah hoodie ...I climbed up onto the stage and whipped off my clothes.    tags: me dance stripper Here's Gurj doubled over with hysterical laughter as I wiggled my wang.    tags: gurj me dance stripper While this photo might make it look like Gurj is holding her hands up to sheild herself from my ass...    tags: gurj me dance stripper ...the next photo reveals that she was just actually winding up to spank me! Hahaha. Just as I'd managed to convince the crowd that the stripping part of the show was over...    tags: gurj me dance stripper ...I kicked off my boxers to reveal ANOTHER LAYER! The panties that I borrowed from Niki the Roommate and turned into sweet, sweet manties.    tags: me dance manties stripper I danced my way across the stage back over to the birthday girl...    tags: me dance manties stripper ...and showed her THAT ASS! Hahaha.    tags: gurj me dance laugh manties stripper Then I REALLY showed that ass...to the, um, audience. Sorry about that, everyone. (FYI: This entire little dance number I'm doing was choreographed to Stacey Q's 2 of Hearts).    tags: me butt dance manties stripper Oooooh, yeah. Happy Birthday, Gurjeet!    tags: gurj me dance manties stripper Oh Hai! I can grope titties? (I love how Gurj has her hands up in the air all like "Yes, he's touching my boobs, but this is a totally one-sided thing!")    tags: gurj me dance grope manties stripper Here's the final photo snapped as I ended my birthday stripper performance! Happy Birthday, Gurj! I love you!    tags: gurj me best manties stripper I came down off the stage and was met by these three lovely ladies: Meredith, Niki the Roommate (thanks for the panties!) and Hot Karla. Look at these three vixens! They look like girls from an 80s rock video! Hey, can I get a little "smoke machine" action?    tags: hot karla meredith niki Perfect, thanks!    tags: hot karla meredith niki A few minutes later, Gurj came over with a bundle of cash (aka - the money that Sarah already owed me) and I gots paid! Woooo! Here's Gurj getting ready to make "the deposit."    tags: gurj me manties And here's me (finally back in clothes...whew!) flashing my cheddar in front of the birthday girl's bizzoobies.    tags: gurj me boobs money Then we had a dance party!    tags: hot karla meredith dance Meredith and Hot Karla showing off their moves.    tags: hot karla meredith dance Me and Niki. Hahaha.    tags: me niki tongue I said goodbye to Karen and left the Annex...    tags: karen me hoodie ...to stop over at Happy Ending (for what I think was) Timmy's birthday party. Here's Timmy and Jess.    tags: jess timmy balloons All that dancing took a lot out of me! Here's me getting ready to replenish all those calories I burned shaking my ass on stage with a late night pot o' mac and cheese (How else do you think I maintain that svelte figure of mine?). Photo (and panties) courtesy of Niki the Roommate. Thanks, Niki!    tags: me cooking manties Friday, May 12th The next morning I had to wake up bright and early to attend an all-day, off-site strategy meeting for work. Here's CTO, Mike Montero, kicking the morning off.    tags: mike montero cci And here's a bunch of my co-workers trying to stay awake. Hahah.    tags: cci The off-site was held at the conference rooms at Chelsea Piers so after our strategy sessions were finished, we got to play golf...    tags: ben sun mike montero cci golf ...indoors!    tags: golf videogames They had that golf simulator where the course is projected onto a big, plastic screen in front of you. You take a real club and real balls and hit them at the screen full force! They have sensors that detect the trajectory and speed of the ball hitting the screen and it shows you where your ball "went."    tags: golf videogames It's really fun, but also sorta scary to wind up and hit a golf ball at a screen that's like 4 feet in front of you.    tags: golf videogames Later that night I went to the Bowery Ballroom to see Posh Tony's band, The Five O'Clock Heroes, play!    tags: posh tony five oclock heroes Saturday, May 13th On Saturday Meredith took me to a tiny park right around the corner from my apartment where they have...    tags: chickens ...FUZZY CHICKENS! Have you ever seen anything like this?    tags: chickens fuzzy I just did a bit of Googling and found out that they're called "Silkie Chickens!" How strangely appropriate!    tags: chickens fuzzy After we were done watching the fuzzy chickens, Meredith and I went over to Tompkins Square Park where we ran into this guy...    tags: grant ipod park sunglasses ...and this gal!    tags: niki hoodie Meredith had a packet of little plastic toys that Niki bought for her in Japan...    tags: meredith sunglasses toy ...which she used to fill navels.    tags: stomach ...and create treasure trails.    tags: asleep stomach It was so relaxing in the park that I ended up...    tags: grant niki book park sunglasses ...falling asleep! Apparently, the penalty for falling asleep is to suffer the indignity of having little toys put over your nipples...    tags: me asleep toy ...and peeking out of your fly! Oh, the horror! Then even took obscene pictures...    tags: belt fly jeans ...of my armpit. (Why, what did you think it was?)    tags: armpit gross After the park, Grant and I stopped over Fatty's house to pick up a bag of blank CD sleeves that we were going to use to hand-make the artwork for the new Fiasco EP. While we were at his apartment, Grant moved an amp out of the way and made a shocking discovery!    tags: grant condom lube uncomfortable Fatty's been having himself some sex! *gasp!*    tags: condom lube Then we went back to my apartment and started using a stamp (that I designed and had custom-ordered!) to create album artwork for Faux Real, Fiasco's first five-song EP! (You can download it on iTunes here). We were inspired by all the self-released EPs that Sarah did for the first few bands on her label! First we'd use a roller to ink the stamp and then...    tags: ink stamp ...we stamped each CD envelope. Here's Grant holding up a newly stamped jacket!    tags: grant fiasco After we'd stamped a couple hundred of them, we took them out into my apartment's stairwell, and gave them each a blast of pink spray paint.    tags: me paint Here's Grant in action!    tags: grant cd paint And here's what an album cover looked like when it was finished.    tags: cd fiasco Meredith came over to help out!    tags: meredith cd fiasco paint She ended up painting a ton of album covers...AND her wrist!    tags: cd fiasco paint Then we put the finished products on the stairs to dry!    tags: cd fiasco stairs Meredith sat down about halfway up the flight of stairs...    tags: meredith cd fiasco stairs ...and was pretty much trapped up there 10 minutes later. Haha.    tags: cd fiasco stairs The process was really messy and labor intensive, but really cool because in the end each EP cover came out unique. Here's an example of on that came out really well!    tags: cd fiasco Later that night, I went over to the Annex to meet up with Mandy (who I hadn't seen in AGES).    tags: mandy me Then she took me to the GUN SHOW!    tags: mandy gun show In the midst of Mandy's Gun Show, Jeffrey spotted us from across the room and literally, crashed our party! Haha.    tags: jeffrey mandy me get a load of this guy laugh