On Friday night I went to Orchard Bar to for Sarah and Karen's Stolen Transmission party, but it was so crowded that I ended up spending pretty much the entire night down in the basement hiding in the coat check room with Gurj! It seems like this always ends up happening! All weekly parties always end up having some mundane nook that ends up being the secret place that's more fun that the party itself. (Like when MisShapes used to be at Luke and Leroy, the secret space was the back office!) ˆ jeet ˆ me ˆ

So Gurj and I are down there, hiding in the back, getting kind of drunk and lookee lookee who else shows up! Lil' Miss Leigh Lezark (seen here giving me her best Princess Coldstare gaze). ˆ leigh ˆ

We had a few more drinks and then the next thing you know... ˆ leigh ˆ finger ˆ tongue ˆ

...another stupid face contest broke out. If I remember correctly, this one was about making your best "vampire face." Here's mine. ˆ me ˆ ugly face ˆ

Here's Leigh's. (You have to imagine the loud hissing noises we're each making as you view these.) ˆ leigh ˆ ugly face ˆ

Gurj's vampire face looked a lot like her David Brent face. "Mmmmm. Shame." ˆ jeet ˆ david brent ˆ ugly face ˆ

I don't even remember if any of us even knew this guy - but that didn't mean we weren't going to welcome him to join our private, face-making party in the back room! Come one, come all! Show yer vampire face! ˆ ugly face ˆ

HISSSSSSSSS! ˆ leigh ˆ ugly face ˆ

After the vampire contest was over, Leigh showed off how her finger healed all wonky after never having gone to the doctor to get it set properly after having gotten it broken a few months back on Halloween. Hahah. ˆ leigh ˆ finger ˆ wonky ˆ

After we were done admiring Leigh's newly misshapen (HA!) finger, we found an empty bucket in the back of the coat room that was filled with tubes of caulk. Which immediately led to a full-out... ˆ jeet ˆ leigh ˆ caulk ˆ

CAULK FIGHT! ˆ caulk ˆ

Leigh loves herself some hot caulk. ˆ leigh ˆ blow job ˆ caulk ˆ

Give me a little DAP of CAULK! ˆ me ˆ caulk ˆ tongue ˆ

Gurj dishes some "bump from the back" while Leigh takes caulk up front. (This whole stupid thing is probably only funny in person (maybe not even then) when you can hear that Leigh and I, who are both New Jersey natives, actually say the word "cock" very much like we say the word "caulk.") Get it? Get it??? ˆ jeet ˆ leigh ˆ caulk ˆ

Posh Tony and Leigh as we emerge from the private super-club that is the downstairs coat check room. ˆ leigh ˆ posh tony ˆ

The thing that best explains why Antony "Posh Tony" Ellis is hula-hooping in the kebab shop that's on the corner of Orchard and Houston is the timestamp on the photo: Saturday, January 21, 2006 5:11:52am. ˆ posh tony ˆ drunk ˆ hula hoop ˆ

Fast forward one week and I'm back in the same place: down in the basement coat room of Orchard Bar hiding out from the crowds. Except this time, I'm having fun with tape on my face! Woooo! ˆ me ˆ tape ˆ

Yep, Leigh was there again too. And yes, she also had tape on her face. Us muthafuckas know how to party. Some tape on the face... ˆ leigh ˆ tape ˆ

...throw in a book about Stonehenge that we found... ˆ leigh ˆ book ˆ tape ˆ

...maybe a dusty motorcycle helmet or two, and our private party was raging and in full effect. ˆ leigh ˆ helmet ˆ

With the amount of tape-faced fun we were having, it was only a matter of time before people were looking to join our kicking party...and suddenly, Niki the roommate appeared from between a wall of hanging coats! ˆ niki ˆ

And she'd even brought Hot Karla with her! ˆ hot karla ˆ niki ˆ smoke ˆ

Around 4:30am, the bar was closed and we were all hanging around waiting for Sarah and Karen to pack up their gear, things started getting frisky. It started out with some MilliVanilli-style boobie-bumpin' going on between Leigh and Gurj. ˆ jeet ˆ leigh ˆ boobs ˆ

Then later, when Leigh followed up with a surprise "got yer tit" attack, it became clear that boobies were going to be the next "big thing" of the night. ˆ jeet ˆ leigh ˆ boobs ˆ

Hahahaha. ˆ leigh ˆ me ˆ boobs ˆ

Karen saw what was going on and came over to get in on the groping. ˆ ellen ˆ karen ˆ leigh ˆ boobs ˆ

Then Karen fell down. ˆ karen ˆ drunk ˆ

But that didn't stop her from trying to get her boob-grope back on from down on the floor. ˆ ellen ˆ karen ˆ leigh ˆ

Even the bouncer got in on the fun! Check him giving Leigh's right tit a fist-bump! "Pound love, dawwwg!" ˆ leigh ˆ boobs ˆ strangers ˆ

Don't worry (Lawrence), their tongues aren't actually touching...because that would be gay. ˆ leigh ˆ sarah ˆ tongue ˆ

On Saturday night, Meredith and I got all dressed up and headed down to Tribecca to attend... ˆ me ˆ meredith ˆ dressed up ˆ

...my company's Annual Holiday Party and Employee Recognition ceremony! Here's our CEO, Ben, kicking off the evening's festivities! ˆ ben sun ˆ cci ˆ

Here's Kevin and Bernadette accepting their awards for being awesome! ˆ bernadette s ˆ kevin r ˆ cci ˆ

After the "real" awards were over (the ones given to people who are doing great work), it was time to give out the "fake awards." These are where everyone gets to email the CEO and suggest new "made up" awards that should be given to specific people. Ben ends up picking his favorites, and for each person he recognizes, he finds a random piece of junk in his office to give to them in honor of their "award." Here's Ben congratulating Ron Worthy on... ˆ ben sun ˆ ron worthy ˆ cci ˆ

...being "The Employee Most Likely to Talk Excessive Smack at the Pool Table." Hahaha. Here's Ron accepting his Wonder Woman Lunch Box award. ˆ ron worthy ˆ cci ˆ

Here's Ben congratulating Russ on his winning the... ˆ ben sun ˆ russ porchia ˆ cci ˆ

..."Brother with the Tightest Afro" award. Hahaha. ˆ russ porchia ˆ cci ˆ

Here's Pete accepting a bottle of really cheap wine after winning the award for "Most Likely to Spend the Night Passed-Out on the Sofa in the Lobby of My Apartment Building" award. (A superlative he earned after a particularly rough night out drinking with people from work.) ˆ ben sun ˆ pete chen ˆ cci ˆ

I don't remember what Hafeez was recognized for, but I do know that it won him a sweet bag of chips! ˆ ben sun ˆ hafeez ˆ cci ˆ

After the awards, CTO Mike Montero manned the buffet and helped dish out some pasta loving. Some for you... ˆ mike montero ˆ cci ˆ pasta ˆ

...SOME FOR ME! ˆ mike montero ˆ cci ˆ pasta ˆ

Mike DiBianco, me, Hafeez and John Merlino. ˆ hafeez ˆ john merlino ˆ me ˆ mike db ˆ cci ˆ dressed up ˆ

Hafeez, John, Karl, Amanda and Mike. ˆ amanda ˆ hafeez ˆ john merlino ˆ karl ˆ mike db ˆ cci ˆ

Me and Pete Chen hoisting frosty Rheingolds! Mmmmmm! ˆ me ˆ pete chen ˆ beer ˆ cci ˆ

Full open bar for more than 3 hours = the whole company drunk out of their minds by 9pm. Hahaha. Here's Mike, me and Kevin lamenting the end of free booze as the open bar ended. But if you're inventive like Mike is... ˆ kevin r ˆ mike montero ˆ cci ˆ drunk ˆ

...you can always find ways to keep on drinkin' for free! Hahaha. (By the way, I'm writing this almost two years after this photo was taken and when I recently showed this pic to Mike he just groaned and said "I always knew that picture would come back to haunt me.") ˆ mike montero ˆ beer ˆ best ˆ cci ˆ

Waaaaay later that night (after I'd gotten a chance to go home, change out of my suit and tie and sleep off my open-bar wastedness) I headed over to MisShapes. I only took two photos. This one. ˆ leigh ˆ misshapes ˆ tongue ˆ

And this one. Eric George in the higgity, yo. ˆ eric george ˆ misshapes ˆ ugly face ˆ

My buddy Posh Tony was in Europe touring with a his band for a couple of weeks and when I heard that he was missing NYC, I emailed him this picture of the bench where many of our recent "late night man-chats" had taken place. ˆ the bench ˆ

Then I hung out with the T.rex in the Times Square Toys R Us. ˆ t-rex ˆ

On the very last day of the month, I had dinner with Caitlin Brown, my friend from college (you may remember her from Spring Break '98!) that I hadn't seen in a good three or four years! ˆ caitlin brown ˆ

I tried to get her to make a really ugly face for me, but we were in a tiny, crowded restaurant and she was too shy to really give me something ugly. ˆ caitlin brown ˆ tongue ˆ ugly face ˆ

Not too bad, though. ˆ caitlin brown ˆ ugly face ˆ

Later that night I dressed up as Kurt Cobain... ˆ me ˆ kurt cobain ˆ

...and then Meredith and I went out to meet up with Mr. David Kreitman for a few quiet drinks in the neighborhood. Afterwards, Mer ended up heading home and David and I... ˆ david kreitman ˆ meredith ˆ

...walked over to Happy Ending to celebrate Ellen Stagg's birthday! Here's me getting a face-licking from the bday girl! ˆ ellen stagg ˆ me ˆ tongue ˆ

David and Missy. ˆ david kreitman ˆ missy ˆ

Marjorie and Carol. ˆ carol ˆ marjorie mamaril ˆ

Knowing these two, I guarantee you that Carol's pretending that she's not sure who has bigger boobs and needs to touch Missy's in order to settle things once and for all. And speaking of huge boobs... ˆ carol ˆ missy ˆ boobs ˆ

...here's Ellen again! ˆ ellen stagg ˆ boobs ˆ tongue ˆ

Ellen was trying to explain her sexy undergarments to me and eventually just gave up and was like "See? Do you see how awesome they are?" Uhhhh, yes. ˆ ellen stagg ˆ boobs ˆ wink ˆ

Yes, I do. (Sweet, Maria!) ˆ ellen stagg ˆ best ˆ panties ˆ

I left Happy Ending, and having been long since abandoned by David, met up with Posh Tony who had just gotten back from tour and was on his way to the Dark Room. On the way there, he and I stopped by Meredith's apartment to try to get her to come out with us (at 2:30am). No dice! ˆ posh tony ˆ hoodie ˆ

Karen on the decks at the Darkroom. ˆ karen ˆ dj ˆ

Sean Dack and Posh T. ˆ posh tony ˆ sean dack ˆ mirror ˆ

Sarah was dog-sitting for Piper (who has an ever-present tongue poking out of her mouth). ˆ piper ˆ sarah ˆ dogs ˆ tongue ˆ

Hahah. Bag-dog peek-a-boo! ˆ piper ˆ dogs ˆ tongue ˆ

I don't remember the story here. but I do know is that this is definitely a photo of a Jenny Penny upskirt! ˆ jenny penny ˆ panties ˆ

Sarah does no likey! ˆ me ˆ sarah ˆ

Hahaha. I was hanging out with Grant one night and he was complaining about the fact that I'd become friends with Posh Tony (because apparently I'm only allowed to have ONE British friend with a silly accent). I kept asking Grant why he didn't like Posh and after not being able to verbalize it, he busted out a piece of paper, drew a picture and handed it to me asking "How can you hang out with a guy that looks like...THIS?" Hahahah. I carried it around for weeks and when Posh finally got back into town, I busted it out for a side-by-side comparison! Hahahah. Soooo good. (Don't worry, Posh - it's not just you. Grant's got a long history of being able to draw embarrassingly accurate caricatures of people he knows). ˆ posh tony ˆ drawing ˆ