thanksgiving

november 25, 2004

For Thanksgiving I headed out to New Jersey to my parents house with two very special guests in tow... See Also: Thanksgiving 2002 Thanksgiving 2003 Wednesday, November 24th Meredith had been planning to spend Thanksgiving with her family Uptown, but at the last minute her Grandfather out in Ohio got sick and her brother and mother went out there to see him. Meredith wanted to go, but her Mom assured her he'd be ok. So I managed to talk her into coming out to NJ to experience Thanksgiving with the Battjers. Here's the lucky lady on the subway platform waiting for the A train to Penn Station where we were also meeting... ...Tha Grizza! Talk about the two best Thanksgiving guests of all time! We hopped on an NJ Transit Train headed westward towards Succasunna, NJ (where I grew up!). Meredith took some nice photos. And then took some pictures of Grant... ...doing that thing where you shake your head back and forth as hard as you can and capture your face getting all rubbery and contorted when the flash goes off. This is one of the best (and by best, I mean worst!) faces I've ever seen as a result of this practice. Quite simply, incredible. We got to my parents house in NJ and found my brother all excited after months of (f)unemployment to finally be able to show proof of gainful employment by busting out one of his brand new business cards that announce him as a consultant for Ascenture. (Check out how happy my Mom is! No more hand outs! No more hand outs!) If you've been reading my site for a while, you know that anytime I'm visiting my family in New Jersey for a holiday, there's always one thing that needs to be done... ...round up a crew and head to the local townie bar that's called "The Barn!" Believe it or not, The Barn actually used to be a restaurant called Seafood Shack when I was growing up in town! Seafood Shack. A winning name like that and they still went out of business. Shocking, right? Steak Shanty is gone as well. Go figure.) Anyway, over holidays The Barn is the defacto place that everyone I went to high school with goes to catch up with everyone else. Here's Amy (my brother's girlfriend), Grant, Brett and Meredith preparing for their very first Barn Experience! Right before we rolled into tha joint, Emily Cmeilewski showed up! Woooo! (Because, as you know, it's just not a complete Roxbury Reunion unless the EM to the EL to the E is there). Check out tha crowd! They were a-moving and a-grooving to the sounds of... ...a cover band! (Man, I wish there were more good cover bands that played in the background at bars in NYC). I made the mistake of going up and asking the singer if he'd let me sing a song with the band and he got all offended. He was like "What do you mean can you sing a song?" I was like "You know, it's sorta like karaoke, right? Like, can't I pick out a song and sing with the band?" And he got all serious and was like "Dude, I'm the singer of this band." I was like "Yeah, but it's a cover band - It's not like I don't know the tunes, right?" He got all serious and before turning away told me that I "obviously didn't get it." RHS Alum in the house! These guys were all a year older than me! Billy Something, Adam Padfield and Paige Mailer (yes, that's really her name!) Lisa Puzio (Hi, can we please make out already? Thank you) and Kim Shortino. (By the way, if you want to see something freaky - check out how much this year's photo looks exactly like the photo I took of them last year. It's like they're magically not aging). Kristie and Christina! (Who you may recognize as Bridesmaids from Bev's Wedding that had just happened a few days ago!) A few drinks in and the funny faces started. Then came the face-licking. Followed by the Group face-licking. And then the next thing you know... ...it's time to start doing the "use the flash to take my picture while I shake the fuck out of my head" game again. (This one's still funny but doesn't hold a motherfucking candle to the version he pulled earlier on the train). My brother Brett staring as Crooked Face McGinley. And Meredith as the Sexy Androgyn Looking to Give a Blowjob. The best thing about Grant is that he could be licking her face, but it's just as likely that she's screaming because he's licking her armpit. After all getting crunked up at The Barn (uh, except for me Dad, because I was the driver) we headed over to The Roxbury Diner (which we all know is really still called The Victoria Diner) for some late night grub. I like how when everyone started throwing gangsigns, my brother's gangsign is to simultaneously pinch both his titties and look "naughty." Noice! Brett was starting to lag so we quickly ordered up some... ...DISCO FRIES (aka - Brett Fuel). So gravy-y and cheesy. Thursday, November 25th On Thursday morning, we all hopped in the car to go to Walmart so Meredith could get clean undies (she forgot to pack 'em!) but they were closed for the holiday. Somehow, Grant and I got into an argument about whether or not tapping the top of shaken-up soda can will really prevent it from fizzing all over the place (I said yes, he said no) and Meredith, tired of listening to us bicker like wetodds, finally offered to buy us sodas so we could just try it out and shut the fuck up already ("Best $0.80 I ever spent!") Results: Inconclusive. Back at the house, family members had begun arriving. My Dad and Uncle Way getting their TV on. Uncle Wayne broke all his own holiday records by managing to fall asleep before the meal! (Caption taken from Meredith's recap of this very same day that she posted almost a year ago when this shit actually happened. Nice one, babe.) In order to top himself next year, he's actually going to have to fall asleep at the wheel while driving over. Me, Meredith and Grant all dressed up for dinner. Awww, yeah! G-Ma's in the house. Throwing down in a big way here with Brett and Amy. Turkey time! Look how serious my dad takes his carving responsibilities. Before anyone can eat, it's a family tradition that my dad needs to take a group photo of the table. There's nothing better than watching him try to figure out the auto-timer on his camera. Every year, he'll think he's activated it and he'll start running around through the kitchen so he can make it back to his seat before a pic's taken - but there are always like three false alarms and he gets progressively angrier as he has to go back and try to get it to work (which makes us all laugh more, which in turn makes him even angrier). I got up to help him out and was told that he didn't need any help "figuring out his own camera, Goddamnit!" So I took some photos of everyone waiting. Hahah. Here are the fruits of his labor though. Well worth the wait! I'm a man of simple tastes. Arrrrgh! 'Tis a pirate's Thanksgiving, Matey! Meredith enjoying the veggy dishes my mom made special just for her! (Aw.) Thumbs up from Grant. After dinner we celebrated my cousin Chad's up coming birthday with a cake. "No, you're the man now, dawg!" Meredith tries on the weirdo country hat that my mom has hanging on the wall in our foyer. And then Grant tried on the hat (and gave me a shy smile). And then he got really angry at me when I showed this picture to my Grandfather. Hahaha. Grant had spent most of dinner asking my Grandfather macho questions about what he'd done in WWII, and so this feminine side of Grant seemed to confuse him. Until I cleared things up by leaning in and explaining "Yeah, we're friends but he's a little light in the loafers if you know what I mean." My Grandfather solemnly nodded. Later Grant kept punching me and saying "I can't believe you said that about me. To a veteran!" After the extended family headed home, Grant, Meredith and I borrowed my Mom's car to visit my good buddy Scott. Meredith was rocking the back seat sans knickers (Walmart was closed, remember?) and when I pointed my camera over my shoulder while driving and snapped this gem I almost captured an inadverdent growler shot! (Which I accidentally showed my dad the next day when he downloaded the pics off my cam so he could print out the group pics I took of the family. Doh!) Up at Scott's we watched TV and played with Cleatus. Cleatus is Liam's lizard (Liam is Scott's son who was asleep by the time we'd gotten there). Somehow during the course of the night, it came up that we suspected Grant of using "Sun In" to lighten his hair. An accusation that he so strongly reacted to that we all immediatley knew it had to be true. Meredith checks Grant's hair for the color "Golden Jersey Shore Wheat." Yep, it's a match. I don't mind other people being really funny as long as they don't mind me laughing so hard that I get really ugly. This was my reaction to Scott trying to trick Grant into confessing that he'd used Sun In in his hair. Back at my parents house later that night we all decided to take a hot tub! The only swimsuit I could find was the one I was given from when we dressed up as Grease Mermen for the Mermaid Parade all the way back in 2001! Scotch in the hot tub? Who's more 1978 than us? There's nothing worse than "outgrowing" a swimsuit. Who's that lucky foggy lady in the middle? Mad props to Meredith for managing to keep her cool while being sandwiched between two ha-ha-hunks in man-kinis. I don't know how she did it. The next mornign we had breakfast with the fam (cinnamon rolls...mmmm) and Grant headed back into town. Meredith decided to stick around a little longer and we... ...headed into Morristown to see the movie Ray. Thanks for coming out guys! (added on 10.22.2005)

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