back in nyc again: part 2

november 22, 2004

Here's the second half of my multi-day visit to NYC. (Back to Part One) Monday, November 22nd Later Monday night Meredith and I walked around the corner to get a drink at the Darkroom and ran into Susan Surface and her boyfriend Brian (who doesn't usually look like that). Meredith, AnnaMaria and Susuan. Holy shit, is Meredith's friend pulling a "get a load of this guy" face on me? I took a moment to admire AnnaMaria's crazy-ass nails. She's from Miami, but clearly she's a Jersey girl at heart. Speaking of Jersey girls - Rachael and Emily (who I went to high school with!) showed up faster than you can "Wow, where did you get your nails done?" And there Jerseygirl hits keep on coming! Smellsgood Gina (aka - Gina BonJersey) was there too! The Living Things. (Eve I love you!) Sarah and SmellsGood BonJersey. Twin-B and Lauren. Are there any pictures of Lauren Flax and I in existence where I'm not getting a full-on honking handful of her tit? Me and Timmy the Gay. (I haven't had a tetanus shot in years and apparently lockjaw finally caught up with me. Why can't I seem to close my mouth in photos?) Wednesday, November 24th On Wednesday I met up with Tins for lunch at Red Bamboo (vegetarian soul food...mmmmm) Die sandwich, die! Die The on Wednesday night, Grant and Meredith took the NJTransit Train out to NJ with me to spend Thanksgiving dinner with my family! (More of this coming soon in a whole separate entry). Friday, November 26th We got back into town on Friday afternoon and Meredith made the mistake of challenging me to a game with our newly purchased Scrabble board! The final board. Another crushing victory for... ...awwww yeah, me. Still number one! Still number one! Saturday, November 27th On Saturday morning I went around the corner to meet up with Lizzie and Sarah for brunch at TeaNY. I had to go to the deli across the street and get money from the ATM and while I was waiting for my money to be dispensed I noticed they had a very familiar article clipped from Rolling Stone and taped to glass of the beverages cooler. (Hey, remember later on this night when Karen go so whipped in a Sparks-fueled birthday frenzy that she pretended to put my balls in her mouth?) Saturday night we all met up at Emily's fancy new apartment to go bowling. Grant called to tell us he was on his way and Fatty announced that he was going to hide in the bathroom and jump out when Grant came in the door (Hey, remember Scaring Grant?) So Grant walked in the door and Fatty jumped out screaming (holding a roll of toilet paper and wearing a towel on his head, no less) but Grant hardly flinched this time. Bah. Anyway, on to bowling! Fatty gives "Big Green" a quick Lady Liberty hoist before giving us... ...a Prime Time flexdown! Next up was Grant and his bowling ball titties. (Bonus points for Fatty's "smells like shit" face in the background). The best part about bowling with your friends is giving everyone funny nicknames in the scoring computer. Colin actually showed up to a social function! Here he is asking "Hey guys, remember when I actually used to have a pair?" Hahahahahah. Colin's Hair did all the bowling that night. Emily lends some locks so that Colin's ball could have a matching 'doo. Hahahahah. This one wasn't even staged. He was actually holding the ball that way while waiting for the pins to be cleared. Next up, Emily! (Whose bowling computer name was "MLE." Get it? Ha!) Next up, Sweet Tits! Yes, that's you. Wait a minute, are you giving me the finger? You cheeky little Smurf! Hahaha. Meredith plays the game where you see how close you can get your tongue to a bowling ball without it touching. If you lose, you really lose. Emily doesn't approve of my messy eating. Scoreboard! Check out Fatty's Turkey (that's when you get three strikes in a row) in the 9th frame! Fatty celebrates by making the "X is for strike" sign (bonus points awarded for also having two "I'm number one" index fingers extended). The Grizza cleaned up all his pins in the 10th frame and celebrated by doing THE WORM right on the lane! Big Fatty put the Big Guns to use and came out on top. Colin harnessed the power of his hair and managed to pull the big deuce. Sweet Tits Whoomped her way into last place! The Big El! Sore-Loser Emily tries to break the Champ's "bowling hand" on the street. The Fatty croons while showing off his JFK Jr. hair. (Bowling? Celebrity Hair Impersonations? Jeez, what CAN'T this guy do?) Sunday, November 28th Sunday morning I went out for brunch with Sarah, Meredith and Karen. Karen loves my brunch ettiquette. Me wearing Sarah's Coke-Disco54 glasses. Later that night Meredith and I met up with Miye and David for dinner. Check out the veggie "rack of ribs" Meredith got. Tofu separated by slices of portabello mushrooms! Meredith's drawing of a rabbit slipping on a banana peel. (I don't know why but for some reason it cracks me up). Later that night I got a strange call from Grant urging me to hurry up and come over to his apartment to "rescue him." I got there to find Jake lounging on Gran'ts couch with some crazy Russian chick who was claiming to be a "ranked poker player in the world" (whatever that means). Jake had brought her over there to try to get her to have a threesome with he and Grant - but Grant was so weirded out by her, that he didn't even want in. So while Grant was out of the room (probably calling everyone he knew to come over so he'd have an excuse to leave) Jake and this girl started playing poker. If Jake won, she'd have to do "a spitroast" with Jake and Grant. If she won, Jake promised her that he'd "make out with Grant." (Jake promised this without consulting Grant). So right when I arrived, this girl had just finished beating Jake at poker and the girl looks over at Grant and tells Jake "Well, c'mon! Do it!" Grant's like "Do what?" Jake just said "Sorry, dude," and the next thing you know... ...Jake's wrestled Grant down to the floor and is trying to French him. (Holy Moly, I can't even remember the last time I used "French" as a verb). Check out Grant using the crook of his elbow to guard his lips against Jake's gay-invasion. This was a full-on tussle. I would've jumped in and helped Grant out, but to be honest, I was too entertained by the fact that if Grant lost this particular "wrestling match," he'd have to make out with Jake. Sketchy Russian Girl came over to get a better view and somehow her top got pulled down in the commotion (exposing her nips!). Needless to say, Jake quickly realized that he wasn't going to be able to forcibly make Grant hook up with him and he and the Russian girl (or maybe she was Czech?) left. (They actually left to go back to Jake's place - my old place on Bowery - where she would make Jake shave off ALL of his body hair with a razor before she'd sleep with him. Oh, and while they were fucking, she wanted to be burned with cigarettes. Hahahahah). While Jake was shaving his giant, hairy nuts - Grant and I headed over to Lit for Colin's late night basement karaoke. Crowd shot. (Hi there, foxy girl in the grey sweatshirt! Rowr!) As always, Grant treated the crowd to a little... ...aerial magick. Grant and Heidi Quarterslot. Leigh and Grant make their "camera faces." Here's a little known fact about these two, it's super hard work for them to make these "sexy" faces. In fact, the moment they relax their faces, they both normally look like... ...this. So, now you know. And then late, late night I ended up at Bar13 where I ran into Julia Li and Audrey. I went back to Meredith's with a heavy heart knowing that in the morning I'd be heading back to San Francisco. (added on 10.08.2005)

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