"moving to SF" party: part 1

august 24, 2004

Ok, so here's the deal - back in June of 2004 I got offered a job out in San Francisco to work for a start up that a buddy of mine founded. I was getting a little tired of New York (no, seriously) and the job sounded really interesting. So I decided to take the plunge and give the job and San Francisco a shot. Figuring I could be out there for a few years, I decided a "Goodbye NYC" party was in order. After I packed up all my shit and actually moved to SF, it turned out that the both San Francisco and the job weren't really a great fit and I ended up moving back to NYC in late December (I only lasted about 100 days in SF!) But regardless, thanks to everyone who turned up and stayed out super late on a Wednesday night. You all made this party one of the most memorable nights I've had. I did my best to try to reconstruct a semi-cogent narrative of the night below. (Enjoy all 243 pictures of it). This is the crazy-ass invite that I spent hours putting together. I went through thousands of pictures trying to find the weirdest/most embarrassing photos of my friends and then spent hours cutting them out in Photoshop and superimposing them onto the Golden Gate Bridge. It was totally worth it, though. Every time I look at it, I still laugh. Doug was still in town visiting and was kind enough to run all over town with me and help set up for the party. It was a BYOB affair, but because all the bodegas in my hood close at 9pm, we scored a shitload of cases of PBR and a buncha bottles of booze for back-up. Doug measures up. Doug helping get enough bags of ice to fill up my bathtub. He loves it! Candy stopped by early with Matt to drop off the karaoke gear for the party - and she and Leigh took a minute to laugh at my "getting ready for the party" outfit. Suh-weet. Hey, the party's here. My empty living room, all set up and ready to be destroyed. Grant, Leigh, Meredith and Sarah (none of whom were super-pleased with my decision to move) came over to my apartment early to give me a series of presents they'd named "The New Yorker in San Franciso Survival Kit." My interest was piqued. First up, a sweet Haight-Ashbury tie-dyed shirt. When I was like "This shirt's way too big!" They replied "Don't worry, you're going to start smoking lots of pot and do nothing out there. You'll get real fat and grow into it." Next up, a fannypack. They explained "Chicks out there, DIG THOSE." The fannypack felt a little heavy and when I unzipped it to investigate, I found more presents! First up... A killer marijuana-leaf pendant. ("Make sure you wear that with the fanny pack. You'll be knee deep in hairy hippie bush in no time!") Next up, a beaded necklace. And a... ...a hackeysack! Hahaha. Check me out, showing off. Look out Dolores Park, here I come! Some incense. ("After you're done humping hippy chicks, you might want to burn some of this. It'll help clear the air in the room.") I wasn't sure what these were... ...then it hit me. Mini-glowsticks. "Those are for when you go to Burning Man with your new California friends. Keep them in your mouth and when you're in the desert at night raving in the dark, it'll help ensure that no one crashes into you." Peace, love and happiness temporary hippy tattoos. (Between these and the dolphin arm-band tattoos Leigh got me on my birthday, I'm all set!) The next few gift were to help me fit in with "all of the homeless people that you're sure to be hanging out with." Fake moustaches (because my friends all know that I can't grow a real moustache to save my life). And fake "dirty hippie teeth." Hahahah. Granola. Trail Mix. And finally, a bunch of guidebooks on Northern California and the Bay Area. Awwwww! Thanks so much guys! You are the best friends ever. (Sorry I moved back so soon!). I started to put my gifts away and they were all like "No, no, no. After all the time we spent rounding that stuff up, you're wearing it at the party, CALIFORNIA BOY!" Shirt, check. Friendship bracelet, check. Tie-dye, check. Hemp pendant, check...the transformation is almost complete... ....SHAZAM! San Francisco Brian is here! "Seriously, you should wear that on the plane out there. People will totally think you're a native that was just visiting NYC. You look great. You're totally going to fit in out there!" Tinny wasn't a fan of the transformation. Grant was digging it, though. And speaking of transformations, when did Grant transform into... ...the Berlin-hipster version of Baron Von Kaiser from Mike Tyson's Punch Out. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. On to the guests! Bev Chase (the infamous winner of Roxbury High School's "Class Wit" superlative, '93) brought some Jewlicious HEBREW beer. Ha. Amanda and Frank. Leigh (making a rarely seen face), my roomie Victoria and our upstairs neighbor Mike who never complains about the noise coming from our parties because he's always at them! (Now that's a good neighbor!). Fellow Roxbury High School alumnus Kristie Damell and Emily Cmeilewski. Santa's little ice helper, Doug Toth. Colin (aka - Big Daddy, Bill and the King of Clocks) and the Fatty (sporting his sporty "I'm wearing a JFK Jr wig" look). Ellen Stagg and Meredith (with David peeking out between them making the creepiest "scary pervy peeping guy" face I've ever seen). Wait, can I get a close up? Hahahahaha. Leah and Caryn Ganz. Dens and Jonathan: The brothers Crowley. KT and Siege (rocking a handlebar). Old school Syracuse crew - Meg Wicker, Vin and Jess. Ellen admiring my sweet hippie-heart neck tattoo. Bonus points to whoever that is in the foreground hoisting a forty of homemade Brass Monkey (one of the Crowley Crew, no doubt). As the party started to get going, it was time to kick off the karaoke! Matt Lesser (aka - Sid from Sid & Buddy's Karaoke) was nice enough to come play emcee for the party. Matt Lavin (aka - Buddy) was out of town so the lovely Candy filled in. Lorelei and I kicked off the festivities with a duet. (By the way, I'm writing these caption in May of 2005, almost a year later so I pretty much have no idea what song anyone was singing in these pics). Hahahah. Something tells me this might have been "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights." Whatever it was, Amy Albano loved it. Wow, chicks really do dig my fresh new chizzain. Tiffany and Sarah D. Amy marveling over Jonathan's uncanny resemblance to Ryan McGinley. Check out my ghetto Photoshop compositie for comparison. Creepy, right? (We've been trying to get them together for a real photo together but we're afraid the world might end if they touch). One of these guys is the youngest photographer to have a solo show at the Whitney. The other has an awesome web site that's main distinction is that it's updated even less frequently than mine! Can you guess who's who? Lizzie & Ben (who gets so caught up in his karaoke jams that he has to take clothes off). See? She loves it too. Karen showed up bearing a very welcome gift. Niki and Lizzie. John Roche and Doug. Keystone Jr. College, represent! Ahhhhhh! Em & Lo. Karen, Natascha and Connor out on the back porch. Leah and Sarah. Miye, Meredith and David. Emily and Rachael (who knew me back in high school in '94 when I wore a beaded necklace like that without irony). Amy (one of the few girls I know who can wear a Master of Puppets shirt and mean it) and Grant. What's better than Ellen singing Led Zep at karaoke? How about Ellen flashing her awesome pink panties while singing Led Zep at karaoke? Miye and me. Seriously, if I knew the chix where going to be digging my Cyrpus Hill steez so hardcore I would've gotten one of these babies years ago. David, Meredith and Una. Emily and Kristie representing on the RHS Choir tip (Classic Sounds, lemme hear ya!). Me and Philp. Nick looks on while Sarah and Tiff re-enact a classic photo from the days of yore. The guy from Whatisee.org (who hopefully won't get too mad that I ganked a bunch of pics he took and reposted them on my site). Thanks for coming by! Hope you had fun! Sarah and Philip. "Hey, remember the last time we sang karaoke and totally hooked up?" "Uh, yeah. Wait, what was your name again?" Hahahahaha. Lo enjoys my schweaty face. Greg K and Leigh. Natascha and Karen. Jess D. and a friend. The Fatty (wearing the shirt I got him for his birthday) and Ellen. Lorelei and I doing another duet. (Girl, where you been? We're so overdue for a karaoke date). Adrianne, Sarah and Caryn. With the crowd in full effect... ...Grant took to the karaoke stage. But the nature of the move busted in this picture I'm going to guess he was singing Rick James' Superfreak. Which I'm guessing I probably followed up with Laura Brannigan's Gloria. When you're following Grant on the karaoke stage, you always gotta bring out the crowd pleasers. Charlene, Kat "Pillpurse" and Nina. Grant and David demonstrate "The Eiffel Tower of Power High Five" with Miye as the lucky girl "in the middle." Check out the sweat stains - did I mention that by this point in the August night my apartment was about 110 degrees? I was so hot and sweaty that I actually snuck into my room and changed out of Black T-shirt Number 3 and into Blue T-shirt Number 7. (Yeah, right - like I have seven shirts!) Smellsgood Gina and Lawrence. Bev, Rachael and Kristie in the front row giving up love for... ...MLE on the karaoke mic. J.Cro showing off his Drunken Master Brass Monkey fighting style (ps - visit his site for one of the funniest things I've ever read on the interweb). This is what my friend Emily wanted to do with J.Cro - but he has a girlfriend and so he wasn't having any of that. Haha. Jim Jazz and Alison. Mike Tully (come back!) and Andrew Krucoff. "Ew, gross! What are you girls doing? Stop that." Grant and Smellsgood. Me returning the Avid software Bev loaned me to edit together video I filmed of our spectacular "Boys' European Vacation 2003." John Roche wishing upon a star out back. Caitlin works at an ice cream store and showed up at the party with a garbage bag full of pints. Look at the drunkies I found out on the backporch getting their ice cream on. I think I caught Emily in the middle of a "ow, fuck! Brainfreeze!" moment. Me getting tricked into kissing Nina on the tongue. Amy on the mic. Wooo! Hahahah. Tif and Sarah doing the butt. Lauren Flax and Jess. "Hey Meredith, is that Grant over there? Watch this..." Hahahahaha. Karen rules. Frank Picarazzi took the stage for one of his rare karaoke appearances. "Are you all ready to rock?" "Wait, uh, hold on. I gotta fix my belt." "Ok, ROCK!" Frank never fails to deliver. Back up vocals from the Grizza. Hahahaha. Amanda and Caitlin. Meredith and Grant on the dancefloor. I got treated to a little serenade by Candy... ...and then we sang Roxanne together. On to Moving to SF Party: Part Two (added on 05.24.2005)

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