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It's the Fatty's birthday! A bunch of us headed over to the birthday
boy's apartment to wish him well!
I arrived much too early and found the birthday boy doing
some touch-up paint work around his apt.
Grant and Jen bringing out the bday cake!
Hahaha.
Fatty, Liz, Mike, Colin and Heather.
Fatty showing off the silver sparkle t-shirt I had custom
made for him.
Close-up. (How sweet is that KISS rock lettering?)
Liz showing off her awesome shirt.
Emily C. showed up with the Sparks tongue in full-effect.
Newlyweds Liz and Frank. A little after 1am, I left Fatty's
and headed over to Misshapes to visit...
...who else? The Tinny!
And special lap-guest, Geordan!
Out on the dancefloor, I ran into Genie Lee!
And then I gave her a creepy hug.
Ok, ok. I'm sure all of you have probably seen all these
photos already either on the Misshapes site or back when
it appeared in Vice,
but for any of you who may not have see it, here's the story:
I was texting with Dennis
Crowley's little
brother Jonathan on Saturday night
and I invited him and his buddy Neil to Misshapes. They showed
up late night and after vetoing the too-packed dancefloor
upstairs, we decided to hang in the back room downstairs
where we discovered this sleeping prince.
Neil (who, just so you know, is the current Nugget
Eating Champ of the World) leans in to check out to what degree
the guy is passed out. Verdict: Out Fucking Cold.
Sticking to tradition, J.Cro and I started going head to
head to see who could take the best (read: most embarrassing)
picture.
Jonathan went for ye olde white ass in the face.
You all knew it was coming. Bah-bah-braining!
But here's a new variation! The spread-eagle flying brain!
Then we decided it was time to play everyone's favorite game:
DRUNK GUY JENGA! The rules are simple, each person takes
a turn placing any object within reach on the passed out
person. If you wake them up, you lose!
We started out slow
using coins, which was pretty funny. Even funnier when we
started running out of flat parts of the guy's face and
we had to start licking the coins in order to prevent them
from
sliding
off.
Hahaha.
Neil gets ready for placement.
After we ran out of change, it was time to up the ante. Neil
weighed in with a giant, jangly set of keys.
Then came a cell phone...
...and bonus points for a lit candle.
Drink menu! (plus a an extra bonus point awarded for the
"Colonel Mustard Freestyle.")
I got daring and tried to put a straw into his mouth. Right
as I leaned in for a photo, I saw him open his eyes a little
bit (check out the photo...hahaha). We all immediately jumped
up and left the alcove figuring it was only a matter of seconds
before this guy jumped up and was like "What the fuck are
you doing?!" Instead, he half sat up, looked around
with a confused look on his face and then...
...promptly passed back out! We started out fucking with
him slowly, building a "drink fortress" around his face,
and then when we were certain he was totally passed out again,
we replaced the straw and a coin. Right around
this time, Leigh
wandered
over and asked what we were doing. Much like the first time
that Leigh caught
me fucking with a drunk person, Jonathan and Neil were
all worried that they were about to be scolded, but I knew
better. I quickly explained the rules of Drunk Guy Jenga
and Leigh was like "Oh, I'm in."
First she posed all nice...
...then she blew him sweet little kisses into his mouth with
the straw.
Then out of nowhere she came up with a half-eaten rotten
pear and placed it right under his nose.
Mmmmm...tasty. The pear was funny and all, but I could tell
that Neil and Jonathan were starting to think that maybe
Leigh didn't have the balls to properly up the ante. Well
at least they didn't until she...
...climbed up on the fucking couch in her heels...
...and pretending that she was snuggling with him.
She paused and made a sad face for effect, and then proceeded
to actually...
...lay down on top of him!
And then licked him.
Awwww...who's sleepy? (PS - Check out the lil' speck of pear
on his chin. Ha!)
Just in case there are any of you doubting that this kid
was out cold, here's some irrefutable evidence. Hahaha.
After Leigh's stunts made all of our previous efforts look
wimpish, JayCro made a last ditch attempt to earn some catch
up points with the "Sleepy Smoker" move.
Hahahaha. (Note the coin placed under the cigarette so as
not to burn the couch.)
Jonathan wiping off the cigarette just in case narcolepsy
can be transmitted through saliva. The end! (Ok, just a
quick note - This was a very half-hearted re-telling of this
story on my part only because I emailed Jonathan my photos
from this night and he chronicled this incident on his web
page months ago. His telling of the story is so fucking perfect
that I hardly bothered here. So if you're up for a laugh,
check out his amazing version of Hipster
Jenga.)
Afterwards, I smooched Marissa....
...punched Leigh in her little head....
...and disco-danced all by myself.
(added
on 03.16.2005)
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