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May was so eventful that this monstrosity of a round up had to be split
up into two parts. Enjoy.
Saturday, May 1st
With Grant still away (he was in the UK and then Spain for
a few weeks chilling with his family), Fatty had some serious
comedy slack to pick up. Luckily, he was up for the challenge,
hunchedly chasing this snooty fur shawl-wearing lady down
Park Ave while making a silly "I'm tip-toeing" face on our
way back from playing Frisbee in the Sheep's Meadow in Central
Park. Comedy gold, I tell ya. Later that night, a whole bunch
of us met up in the East Village to celebrate...
...COLIN'S HAIR TURNING 30! Woooo! Happy
Birthday, Colin's Hair!
Check him out petting and congratulating his birthday hair.
How much does the Litte Fatty (Dave's brother, Andy) look
like the Big Fatty?
Oh, except for the whole "has a chick hugging his crotch"
thing.
After Colin's party, I hopped on the nearby L train and headed
to Williamsburg to meet up with Vin and check out a party
Leah was having at her loft.
The place was mobbed. Party people in full effect, yo.
And we ran into Julia and Kristen again! After all the fun
we had last
time we ran into the two of them, we decided
to hop a cab and head over to the West Side to check out
Misshapes.
After hours of dirty dancing inside, we arrived to find Counter
and Dennis getting
ready to take things to what they referred to as "the next
level." (Bonus points to Dennis for making the best
"I'm Uncomfortable with Your Homosexual Joking" Face ever.)
Actually, looking at this photo I'm going to have to take
away Dennis' bonus points and award them to Vin.
Wooo! Discolight dancing upstairs.
Sunday, May 2nd
On Sunday, Fatty and I headed out to Brooklyn to meet up
with Colin, Heather and Frank in Prospect Park. After a few
hours of tossing the 'bee around, Heather suggested we check
out the Japanese Cherry Blossom Festival at the nearby Brooklyn
Botanical Gardens.
The trees looked right out of a Dr. Seuss book. Every time
there was a breeze, the trees would rain down mauve petals.
The beauty turned out to be too much for Frank.
He felt the need to climb into one of the trees and express...
...um, his love. (Frank, this picture makes me sofa king
happy).
After Frank was, er, finished...we headed into some of the
indoor planthouses and looked around. Here's
the plant called "Birds of Paradise" that we found in one
of the rainforest greenhouses.
Then we went inside to check out some of the Japanese plants
on display.
Banzai!
We also watched the janitor put on a pair of pajamas and
trick a crowd of people into thinking he was some sort of
highly-regarded Japanese artist.
Little did the crowd realize, but this piece is patterned
after the mop-stroke used to remove dogshit from a tiled
floor.
Monday, May 3rd
On Monday I went to karaoke at Crash Mansion (that name still
makes me shudder every time I say it. Ugh, so bad) and ran
into Jay Madrick! Jay was the drummer in Wellspring, which
you may remember as the short-lived band that we were in
with Josh Teixeira back
in college!
Hahahahah. Holy fuck. Who knew Justin Timberlake had a
brother with Down's Syndrome?
Tuesday, May 4th
Remember when Fatty and I went to Ikea
a few days ago? Well,
the couch I'd ordered from them arrived. Sort of.
But despite the sorry-ass shape the box was in, it still
managed to look decent when I got it all put together. So
hey, orange couch.
Thursday, May 6th
Hey, hey! Look who's back in town! Woooooo! That's right,
well rested from a jaunt in Spain, the Grizza met up with
Vin and I at the Chinatown blacktop park to play night frisbee
with the new light-up frisbee I got.
Which also doubles splendidly as a McDonald's ketchup tray.
After getting our grease on we headed over to Happy Ending
for the Raveonettes afterparty.
Sunday, May 9th
For Mother's Day I hopped the Linden EnJay Transit train
to meet up with my parents at G-ma and G-pa's house. Happy
Mother's Day! (PS - Sarah was so right on the money when
she pointed out that my dad looks like Peter Griffin from
the Family guy).
I'm not sayin', I'm just saying.
Tuesday, May 11th
On Tuesday I went to see that Stills at Irving Plaza. They
were fucking great.
Speaking of fucking great, I ran into Natascha and Karen
Marsala in the crowd!
This is why it's always better to just wait for one of the
urinals to open up. Venture into a stall at a rock show and
you never know what the fuck you're going to see. Is
that someone's shirt in there? How does that even happen?
Walking down to SinSin after the show, I ran into Emilie,
Robert and Kevin on the street. It was Robert's birthday
and he wanted to head home, but I used the lure of free
drinks to get them to join me at
SinSin.
Awwww, who's the little birthday boy? Who is? Who is?
Me and Kevin.
Emilie smooching Kevin.
"Hey, don't sweat it.She didn't give me one of those on my
birthday either."
Jason and Amber were pretty much the only other people in
the place.
So once the place had cleared out, we had ourselves a private
dance party for like 2 hours.
After leaving Sin Sin I was still wide awake (dance parties
will do that to you) so I decided to stop in and check out
the late night scene at Happy Ending on my way home. As soon
as I got downstairs I ran
into Counter
and Susan. My hair was so sweaty from the dance party that
Counter asked me if it was raining outside. Hahaha. Ew.
Check out Olivia Newton John serving drinks in a muthafucking
unitard behind the bar. Hoo-ah.
Then Susan got all dirty with her mojito. (She can get her
teeth around the glass for fuck's sake!)
Which blew Counter's tiny mind.
Wednesday, May 12th
On Wednesday I met up with Nina at "the Cube" in Astor Place
to get some lunch.
Mmmmm...Chipotle has the best burritos (or at least as good
as you can get on the east coast) but that doesn't mean you
won't get beans in your teef.
Thursday, May 13th
I bet you were starting to wonder where the karaoke photos
were, am I right?
You were all thinking, "Man, where are the photos of people
lying drunk on a karaoke stage trying to look up Candy's
skirt?"
"Where are the photos of Matt getting his junk touched by
Ben?"
And yes, I know, "How come I haven't seen any pictures of
Marjorie taking a king-sized chomp on Carol's tig ol' bitty?"
Needless to say this particular night of karaoke was a little
more out of control than most other karaoke nights.
This is Kanue. She's from South Africa and is obsessed
with...
...Candy! Every time Candy sings, Kanue ends up on stage
with her trying to publicly roll up deep in her steez.
"Sure, I'm being all cute while you're on stage. Holding
your hand, singing along..."
"...but if you don't come home with me I swear to god
I'll break your fucking arm. You hear me, Candy?"
And hey, no one wants a broken arm, right?
So speaking of random acts of Sapphic love, here are the
lovely Marjorie and Carol. Get a few drinks in these two
and...
...strange stuff starts happening. "C'mon, let me touch your
baginer!"
Through the jeans? WTF?
Pile on! Check out holmes in the background being all Cool
Hand Luke with the thumbs up.
Which he manages to keep in the frame for the subsequent
collapse-of-pile-on.
Ok, enough with all the orgy stuff - how about we get to
some singing?
"Yeah, Candy. Her, right there. She's the one I'm taking
home. Mark my words."
The karaoke love train apparently ends in Marjorie's mouth.
Now for something a little more wholesome, it's a bubble
contest!
Here's mine!
Here's the girl who had the gum! The gum was sour apple
Hubba-Bubba and it was so tangy and flavorful that it was
hard to blow bubbles because it made you drool so much.
Carol. Looks like a three-way tie.
Any time you end up wearing a silver sparkly bandana, it's
usually a safe bet to say you've had an interesting evening.
And hey, the month's only half over. Click
here for Part Two.
(added
on 12.08.2004)
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