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Since graduating,
my brother Brett has been living with my parents in New Jersey. I took
a Monday off from work and went deep sea fishing down in south NJ (at
Mid-Atlantic Highlands) with my dad and brother.
Instead of going out on my dad's
boat like last year, this time we upped the ante and went out on
a larger, chartered boat with some of my dad's former co-workers.
Oooof. I can't remember seeing the "waking up" side of 5:24am
in a loooong-ass time.
My brother and I had stayed up until well past 3am playing video games
(Amplitude,
anyone?) and my brother was so tired he couldn't even talk.
Nevertheless, we somehow managed to pack up the car and hit the road
well before 6am.
We fueled up and Dunkin' Donuts...
And immediately perked up when we saw the prize they were offering in
one of those "leave your business card" drawings. Makes you
think twice about ordering a "glazed" doughnut there, right?
Ew.
Back to the car.
There's she is! The brand new "Mi-Jo
II." 75ft of fishing-catching fury piloted by the super-nice
Captain Mike Scardigno.
Tired.
Tireder.
Tiredest.
Before we get on with the fishin', I should prolly give you a little
background. You see, we come from a fishing family. That handsome devil
up there is my dad's father, Hank Battjer. (Holding up what looks like
a fresh-water muskellunge)
And that's my Dad's mother, Connie Battjer; who actually caught the
sailfish she posing with (Nope, I'm so not kidding).
With our proud angling lineage in mind, we puffed our chests, hoisted
our hopes and cast our lines towards the sea (that's Capt. Mike in standing
next to my brother).
No more than 10 minutes passed before my dad hooked this sea-robin (Prionotus
carolinus) which aren't very tasty and didn't count towards the
"most" prize, so he threw it back.
Shortly thereafter, my brother hooked a bluefish (Pomatomus
saltatrix).
After that, my dad hooked a "little skate" (Raja
erinacea) that also didn't count towards "most." Throw
it back!
Holy creepy fishmouth, Batman!
Brett reacting to all the bizarro sea-creatures that my dad was somehow
managing to hook.
After his bluefish, my brother caught a pretty big striped bass (Morone
saxatilis).
Fish as art? Oooooh!
A few minutes later, my brother hooked another bluefish.
And then, another and another, and another. Fucker. (If you you're wondering
why there aren't any pics of me with the fish that I've caught it's
because, um, I haven't caught any).
The first mate gutting and fileting my brother's fish.
Oh, I forgot to mention - before we set out, each of the sixteen people
on the boat threw in $10 towards a pool to be awared for two prizes:
Half the money would go to the person catching the biggest fish (the
"biggest" prize), the other half would go to
the person who caught the most fish (the
"most" prize). Got it? After four hours
of fishing, my brother, having caught five fish was tied for the "most"
prize with some other guy. Ten minutes before the captain was scheduled
to call "lines up" and head back to shore, my brother (in
the blue hat), hooked yet another fish which made him the winner of
the "most" prize (with six fish caught).
And here's the kicker, the last fish he caught also ended up being the
biggest fish of the day (that's his fish on the left beating out the
2nd biggest fish).
Brett demonstrates how you turn 22lbs of striper into...
...cold, hard, cizzash! Brett ended up taking home $120 (after tipping
out the two mates on board).
Brett was the big winner. Me and my dad both caught NOTHING! NADA! ZIP!
ZILCH! (Actually, my dad at least caught two fucked-up fish that just
didn't count in the contest so he threw them back. I was the only one
that didn't catch a god-damned thing. Bah.)
Arrrrgh, matey! Better luck next time!
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