|
Friday,
December 19th
Friday morning Grant and I got up early and drove down to the
ranch offices so Grant could interview Tom Wheeler, the head
cowboy at the Circle W Ranch, for Grant's "Sex Advice from
Cowboys"
article.
Here's another artsy photo I took to accompany Grant's article
(that never ended up being used).
Tom
Mother-Effing Wheeler, yo.
Those of you who know me know that I couldn't grow facial hair
to save my life. Seriously, fifteen year olds with "dirtstaches"
put me to shame. But after admiring Grant's crazy-ass cowboy
beard, I decided that I wouldn't shave for six days and see
what it looked like. And six days later...BLAMO! Check out my
fucking beard!
What do you mean you can't see anything? Maybe
you just need a closer look...
...see? Check out that moustache. I'm practically Tom
Selleck all over again.
Grant's beard was pretty manly, but I think if I had another
day or two I could've outdone him.
After I'd finished documenting our facial hair, we headed back
to the house, showered (and I shaved, thank god), packed up and
hit the road to head back down to Los Angeles (to attend the
surprise birthday party that Jordana had put together for him.
Shhhh!).
Leaving the ranch.
I love how this pampered pig is reading a book.
Fatty crashed the fuck out on the ride. Hahah.
We got to Ross & Jord's just in time to have a lovely Hanukah
dinner with Ross' parents.
Dash enjoying his dinner.
After food, Ross screened the most recent cut of Grant's TV pilot,
"Granted."
And then it was time to open presents! Here's Ross showing off
his Juicy Couture Hanukah
sweats. Mazel Tov!
Susan and Harlan.
Ross and Jord.
Here's Ross completely bewildered by the magic of his MAGIC WALLET.
After Hannukah presents, we hopped back in Grant's (Satanic)
rental car...
...and headed to a nearby hotel we'd gotten for the night (with
Ross' family in town, we didn't want to overcrowd their house).
Saturday,
December 20th
On Saturday, Grant had to go to VH1 and do voice-over work for
his TV show, so Fatty and I decided to wander down Melrose.
Check out what we saw in Starbucks: it's a shirtless guy, wearing
overalls,
a
stoooopid
Paddington
bear
hat, sunglasses
INDOORS
and holding a walking
stick while
he's
SITTING DOWN AND PLAYING CHESS! Oh my god, I call this photo
"EVERY SINGLE REASON I DON'T LIVE IN LOS ANGELES."
Well, almost every single reason. Check out LA, working hard
to further blur the line between gainful employment and prostitution.
Fatty gets his "Jew on" in front of the largest menorahs
either of us had ever seen.
Saturday night we all snuckity snuck over to Frank Wyle's (Jordana's
grandfather) house in Brentwood for Ross Martin's 30th Birthday
Surprise Party! Here's Ross reaction when he walked into the
house to find fifty people!
And then, fearing he didn't look "surprised enough" in the above
photo, he posed for this "I'm REALLY surprised" photo.
Steve, Ross and Ameen.
Seth and Ameen (aka - AMIR!).
Marianna with a sleepy Dash.
Jordana even went as far as to take all these great pictures
of Ross as a young whipper snapper and have them blown up! Ross
the Soccer Star.
Aw, yeah. Drum corp lemme hear you. (ps - nice hat).
Check that mug out - he's like Paul Fifer and Kevin Arnold rolled
into one (while Grant's busy working hard to look like the fourth
friggin Bee Gee).
After the surprise dinner, the whole group headed over to restaurant
in LA for a second, larger party featuring all of Ross' friends
and co-workers. Here's DJ Bearden Bickerstaff manning the laptop
tunebox.
Me and the Fatty all dressed up.
Here's Jord's cousin Steve up on stage wishing Ross a happy 30th
birthday and welcoming a special guest to the party...
...Britney Spears!
Ok, ok - not Britney Spears, but a really good Britney Spears
lookalike.
Ross has a Philip Roth-esque crush on everyone's favorite pop
shiksa, so Jord thought it would be funny to have Britney come
perform a lil' birthday dance for the birthday man.
Hahahaha. He looks like he's doing the "Happy Snoopy" dance.
Soooooo good.
"You're a jew!"
Jordana, Ross and Britney.
Hahaha. Ross telling wifey to beat it (*Bonus points to Jordana
for pulling the "You're in trouble" face that eventually inspired
Dashiell's infamous "Whatchoo talking 'bout, Willis?" look*)
Here's Steve, Grant and myself posing for a pic (which was really
just an excuse to try to cop a feel of the faux-Britney's vinyl-clad
arse).
Amy Bird, Steve and Jord.
Then out of the blue, who should show up to the party? None other
than our former Nerve co-worker (from way
back in the day), Joey
Cavella! How after leaving Nerve had moved back to his native
LA.
Me and Grant dishing some double-lovin' to the lovely Jen Ehrman.
The Fatty and Joey.
Grant and I with Harlan Martin! (Best picture ever).
Me, Ross, Marianna and someone I don't know! (doh.)
Joey and Paz Lenchantin (from Zwan, a perfect circle, Papa M,
etc). So rad.
Dah-dah-disco.
Hard-as-Nailz Crizzew.
Joey Cavella or Joey Camel?
Me, resurrecting my impression of Ricky Schroeder with Down's
Syndrome, and Jen.
DJ Grizznizzle wrapping up the party.
We said goodbye to West Coast Joey and headed back to our hotel...
...and I woke up just in time to thwart Grant's attempt to put
his balls near my face.
Sunday,
December 20th
Sunday morning we had a little time to kill before heading to
the airport, so we drove around LA. Look kids, Mann's Chinese
Theater!
Then we stopped at In N Out for a little holiday burger treat.
Mmmm! Fatty likey! Hehehe.
Then Grant and I dropped the Fatty off.
Fare thee well Fatty! After seeing Dave off, Grant and I went
to a bookstore and killed some time before we came back for him
to drop me off (I was actually supposed to stay another two days,
but being in 65 degree weather a few days before Christmas proved
to be too much and I switched my flight so I could get home,
do a little Christmas shopping and spend some time with my fam.
Here's Grant sending me off. Goodbye Cali!
|