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After finishing up dinner (around 1:30am) we walked around
town looking for a bar or club that was going on. The first place
we popped
into, Buddha Cafe, wasn't really all that jumping, but we decided
to head in and have a drink and see if it picked up.
Here's Fatty, Grant and Chris upon arrival - quasi-drunk from
dinner and already in awe of the stupid amounts of hot
Greek women. (Make sure to look at all three of their priceless
expressions).
I've never seen Grant so happy in my life.
I headed out solo onto the dance floor.
And tried to woo the local ladies with some fancy footwork. My
moves had the ladies smiling (well, laughing and pointing is
probably more accurate), but none of them would dance with me.
After a few songs I gave up and headed back to our table on the
sidelines to coldlamp with my
boys.
Just when we'd totally given up on interacting with females,
Grant spotted a girl that we'd seen out on a previous night.
He'd overheard her talking and knew she was American. So we went
over and introduced ourselves. (Check out the Fatty in the background
trying to sneak into the pic with a "Fatty Face").
The girls, Tymber and Shelby, picked up their drinks and came
and joined us. Tymber was born in Sweden, moved to California
in her teens, went to school in Minneapolis and had spent the
last few years living in Italy. She came over to Crete from Italy
for a quick vacation and met Shelby (who was on vacation from
Canada) on the boat ride from Italy to Crete and they ended up
staying together in Rethymnon.
After the girls were done telling us about their travels, Grant
took Fatty's cam and gave them a run down of our trip thus far.
Looky, looky! What's going on here in this picture? After Grant
was done giving her the "See, aren't we fun guys?" photo review,
she quickly cozied up to tha Grizza.
Throwing down for the cam.
My goal for the night was to try to get this girl in the white
to dance with me. (And then, after we were done dancing, to marry
me). She was being carefully watched over by the guy you see
on the left so I dispatched Chris to head over and use a little
of his fluent Greek magick to try to see if he'd introduce me
to her.
We chatted Michael up for a few minutes and after we'd established
a rapport, I asked him if I had any shot with his cute friend
and he replied (please make sure you read the next sentence in
your best Balki from "Perfect Strangers" voice) "Don' be ree-deek-you-los!"
Here you can see Michael hi-fiving his friends ("And then I told
them to fuck off before I kicked their American asses!") while
my dreamgirl chats with her friend about how she wishes her friend
would stop coming between her and her future husband.
Don't worry, my love. <whisper> I'll wait for you! </whisper>
Meanwhile, back at home base, Grant seemed to be making serious
flirty headway with the lovely Tymber.
And before we even knew what was going on, tha Grizza'd brought
her out on the dance floor! Oh snap!
Me rocking out to House of Pain's "Jump." Did that
"action" hair o' mine.
Yaaaaay, Amstel.
Me, Tymber and tha Grizza.
"I'll smoosh your eye!" Shelby and Tymber.
It was getting pretty late and Shelby, Tymber's roommate, seemed
like she was tired and getting ready to go home. Grant sensing
that Shelby was going to try to get Tymber to leave early with
her,
tried
to
get Shelby in the mix out on the dance floor in hopes that she'd
stay a little longer. Check out the Fatty peeping Grant's crafty
"Hey, now let's ALL dance together!" move from the sidelines. Smoooooooooth!
Hahaha.
After a few minutes of dancing together, Shelby said she was
leaving and Tymber announced that she was going to stick around.
Crisis averted, the Grizza fixed Tymber with a smoldering stare,
went in for the kiss and . . .
DEEEEEEEE-NIED! Doh! Holy
shit, what's better than the fact that I managed to actually
capture this pic? (DAMN YOU, GARLIC BREAD!)
Now normally, this would've been a deal breaker for New York
City Grant. But On-Vacation Grant, shrugged that shit off like
a bad dream and went right back to kicking it on the dance floor.
Pulling out moves like this and everything. Kid ain't no joke,
see?
Here's Fatty and I reacting to the rarely seen Grant "I Have
Giant Brass Balls" Stoddard.
Here's Chris reacting to "the new" Grant.
Crowd shot.
Being all sneaky with the cam from the sidelines, I also managed
to capture the "Hey, I've got to get going..." chat.
As well as the "Hey, it was nice to meet you too" hug. If there
was audio, this is where I'd have a clip of the "I did mention
I have my own TV show coming out, right?" conversation. Hehehe.
This dude was hanging out for a long time waiting for Tymber
to say goodbye so he could walk her home. Check out Grant in
the corner trying his hardest to not let on that he's trying
his hardest to listen in on what they're saying.
Check out this rockstar I found passed out in the bathroom. Bwa-ahahaha!
We got outside and after a quick "Charlie's Angels" pose for
the cam, Grant and Tymber made plans to meet up out front of
the club the next morning at 11am and then head to the beach
together.
After bidding farewell to Tymber, we walked back to the car (at 5:43am)
and spent the car ride home debating whether or not Tymber would show
up to meet Grant the next morning.
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