sweet ups karaoke

march 4, 2003

So check this out - All last year we used to go to Karaoke night at Enid's in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Then somewhere along the line, the neighbors complained and they stopped doing it. Fast forward six months: the guy who used to emcee the evening went to Google, did a search for "karaoke and enid's" and found all the pics on my site. Anyway, to make a long (read: not interesting) story short, he emailed me and invited me to a new karaoke night that he was hosting at a bar called Sweet Ups (over in Billyburg). Grant roused the troops and... We arrived early (around 10ish) to ensure that we'd be able to secure the table right up front next to the karaoke machine. That way later on in the evening when you're real drunk and you want to "correct" people who aren't performing a song up to par by singing over them as loudly as you can, you'll know that they can hear you. Because hey, people love to know when they're doing something wrong. Especially at karaoke. (From L to R: Lorelei, Sean, Joey, Emma and Mary.) In one of the most blantant acts of shameless sycophancy I've seen in a long while, Grant kicked off the night by singing "Lola" by The Kinks (Lola also being the name of the co-emcee of the evening). He practically skipped the last verse so he could scamper over and collect a kiss from le nom de son amour. "We're going to party Karamu, fiesta, forever! Come on and sing along!" Talk about lyrical foreshadowing, jeeeez! Colin (aka - "Big Daddy") stepped up to the stage and got the crowd feeling nice with his rendition of Lionel Ritchie's schmoking hit "All Night Long." Grant, me, Emma. What a coincidence! We were just talked about smallish, Irish cocks! Josh Teixeira showed up just in time to bear witness... ...to me singing my second karaoke jam of the evening. (Before "Oh! Darling" I also sang George Michael's "Faith." I was going to post the pics but now looking at them I'm realizing that when I wear my black leather "BSA" jacket with the fringe on the sleeves maybe I shouldn't wear such tight jeans because when I shake my ass it looks pretty fruity. Maybe it's just me though, I dunno.) While I did my best to channel McCartney's scream... ...Grant worked to channel the essence of his high-browed bass playing. After I was done, a few talentless hacks sang unmemorible crap before Grant got called up for Bowie's "Life on Mars" which he proceeded to render with such heartfelt authenthicity that it actually brought tears to our eyes. See!? Look at Emma: she's actually wiping away a tear. A fucking tear. Unbelievable. Joey and Lorelei. Grant gives up some love for Mary who did a great version of some ELO song I'd never heard. Later on in the evening, Lo and I reprised our version of Meatloaf's "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights" which was last heard at her birthday party last April. Damn. We're still glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife, you know what I'm saying? Meanwhile, in the back of the bar, the usual suspects were standing around holding each other's dicks. Josh, Grant, and Vin. Grant with his new main lady, Erica. Lo's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" sparked candles of adornment. Joey singing Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me." So you know that song "La Isla Bonita" by Madonna? Well this cute red girl is singing it all serious and right in the middle of the chorus this dude shows up wearing a fake moustache and yells the last line of every chorus. So the pretty girl sings "Tropical the island breeze / All of nature wild and free / This is where I long to be..." and then he grabs the mic each time and screams, in an uber-offensive pseudo Mexican accent "LA ISLA BO-NEEEEE-TOOOOH!" I think I almost shit myself laughing. "SAAAAAN PAY-DROE!" Sean reps on the "Your So Vain" tip. Frank "Seven Layer" Picarazzi doing The Who's "My Generation." Complete with Townsendesque air-guitar strums. Check out Josh pulling the best "drunk grumpy face" since he passed out standing up against a wall while waiting in line for the bathroom this past Halloween. Grant tries to get some stranger into the true DLR (that's David Lee Roth) spirit of things by doing a toe-touch jump in the beginning of his performance of Van Halen's "Panama."

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