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Oh man, I don't even know what to write as an intro to this entry
- It was just a regular old Saturday night and a whole bunch of us
decided that later on we'd head over to Nolita Tavern for a little
Sid & Buddy Karaoke action. Well, the planents must've aligned in some
bizarre way because every single person we'd invited showed up...and
then some.
Emma, Grant, Lorelei and myself started the night out getting our free
drink on at a party celebrating the opening of Toys in Babeland's new
Soho store.
This is the undisputed winner of brain shots. Holy
shit. The party was really loud and crowded and when Grant got a phone
call he
made
the
mistake
of
squatting
down
so he could hear better. I pulled out my nuts faster than a cobra attacking.
Boo-yah! Mad props to Lorelei for snapping this pic. Hahahahahaha.
Okay, now on to karaoke...
Emily, Emma, Lo and Grant. (Down in the karaoke basement of Nolita Tavern).
Special guest star (in town from
LA), Kate Hill!
Here's us kicking off the night right with a duet of Bonnie Tyler's
"Total Eclipse of the Heart"
Em & Lo (Emma's
really good at hiding behind the microphone).
Em-El-Ee on the Em-Eye-Cee!
Look! It's Laurie Choi! aka - Chitty Chitty BangChoi! (Who actually made her
last diary appearance way back
in October of 1999!) Welcome back!
What's better than one Choi? TWO CHOIS! (But please keep in mind, it's
still pronounced "choy" even though it looks all French and makes you
want to say "Schwa!") That's right, Laurie's little sister (and local
NYU student) Jen is actually seen here earning herself bonus points
in my book for busting out the robot whilst rocking the karaoke mic.
Em and Lo on backup.
Ok, if you look at everyone's eyes in this pic, you'll start to see
that this is the point in the night where things started getting a
little out of hand. (People were making similar expression back two
fateful August ago, and we all know what happened THAT
night.) Clockwise from top: Jen, Jamie, Laurie, Mark (and some
scary guy in the background who looks like the Hispanic Charles Manson).
Grant and Lo (what were you guys singing, either of you remember?)
Jamie Kirkpatrick, yo.
Yay! Amanda Berkowitz stopped by (with a friend of hers whose name I don't remember,
sorry) but I think we were all pretty rowdy at this point and we scared her off.
(By the way, what's
with
me
smoking?)
Laurie and Emily.
Eighteen and life, YOU'VE got it.
Jamie, Jen and Emily. Real quick, y'all should know that I met Jamie
and Jen because of this site! (Jamie googled a former co-worker of his
and found pic of her on this site - after he read through it, he found
pictures of Laurie Choi! So emailed me and was like "You don't know
me, but we have friends in common and we should hang out! PS - I'm not
gay!")
Awwwwwww, best pic ever. Emily, Emma, Lorelei and Grant.
So to be honest with you, I don't really even know how this started.
There was something about this girl's bum that Grant and I thought
was great. So we started taking sneaky pictures of it.
See, here's me all like "Hi, I'm here with your butt."
And then Grant was all "Hi, I'm here with your butt and I can't believe how naughty
it is!"
Sid & Buddy quickly caught on. Now at this point, it pretty much
stopped being about her ass and just started being about how much we
could get away with behind this unsuspecting girl's back. Here's Buddy
barking like a dog.
Hahahahah - then they teamed up to "rock out" with her butt.
We quickly lost interest in her butt, and moved on to other butts.
Grant and Emily do a "butt-appreciation sixty-nine."
This was awesome - Grant was all kneeling behing Matting making faces
at him and right as I was about to take the pic, Matt realized what
was going on and thrust his ass back and Grant. Hahaha.
Sid and Buddy....and my ass.
Hahahaha. Grant wins for braining Matt (ps - what's with your lumpy
nuts, dude? You should probably get that looked at.)
So it was around this time that we noticed these two (aka - "The Greatest
Couple in the World."). He was completely shit-hammered; to the point
where his head was all bobbing around like we was on a fucking wagonride
on a cobblestone street. And she (as if her matching aqua skirt-outfit
wasn't enough) had the biggest belly button jewelry thing I've ever
seen. I mean look at that thing - it's like the J-Lo engagement ring
of bellybuttons. Anyway, she was really drunk and kept heckling people
in between songs, yelling that it was her turn already....we'll get
back to these guys later.
Here's Jamie singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" - and somewhere in the
middle of the song, someone just handed me the most memorable children's
toy in recent years...The Giant Hulk Fist.
After we realized that the Hulk fist made pictures instantly funnier,
it made rounds quicker than a first-year Sorority girl. Here's it
is with Emily...
...then on to Grant...
...back to me (where I discovered that if you punch
something, the Hulk fist emits a loud, electronic "Angry Hulk Scream")...
...back to Emily (where it have that little extra oomph to her "Hit
Me With Your Best Shot")...
...back to me where I used it to punch Chitty Chitty Bang Choi in
her Chitty Chitty Bang chin. Feel my hulk ANGER!
...then over to Matt who proceeded to use it to get his Hulk-jerk on. After
that, the line had pretty much been crossed and no one wanted to wear it anymore.
Hulk-jerk? I mean, come on.
I mean, this pic is pretty awesome and all. But just imagine how much better
it would be if the Hulk fist wasn't contaminated and he could've been wearing
it. Fack.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
What's more fun than this pic? From L to R: Jamie, The Choi sisters
(Jen & Laurie) and Brian.
Look at me trying to subtley get Emily to show more boob. Goddamn, I'm smooth.
So Bellybutton Jewelry Girl went to the bathroom, and while she was
gone, her boyfriend passed out...we all know what that means!!!
That's right! It means it's time to play "FUCK WITH THE DRUNK GUY!"
Emily kicked it off with a lil' boob showing.
Grant wasted no time moving in with his nuts.
Jamie and I were quick to follow. Mad props to Jamie - homeboy survived
testicular cancer was brave enough (or drunk enough - probably a bit
of both) to take out his one ball! (Stop looking! You can't tell).
This was the best part, I was standing really close to him with my
nuts out and all of sudden he woke up. He seemed started to find me
standing so close to him and and was like "What's up?" So I said to
him enthusiastically,
"Nothing, dude! You're rocking the fuck out, that's what! Let's take
a picture together!" He jumped up and with like "Ok!" So that's how
I turned an "Almost Got My Ass Kicked" situtation into the greatest "You
Don't Know You're Posing With My Balls But You Are" picture of all
time.
Shortly after, his girlfriend returned and somehow Jen Choi ended up
on stage dirty dancing with her. (It was also right around here that
my camera's batteries fucking died on me. I managed to snap a few more
pics, but I kept having to turn the cam off for a few seconds, let
it rest, then turn it on and try to take another pic before it died
again.)
The real tragedy is that because of this I missed getting a really
good action shot of Jen spanking the Bellybutton Lady with a leather
S&M paddle. (I swear to God, I'm not kidding. This actually happened.
If you look in the background, you can see Jen holding the paddle in
her right hand - and see who the turquoise lady is all leaning against
the wall - submitting herself?)
This picture here is called "Why I Almost Stopped Being Friends
With Emma Taylor." Here's why - after the turqoise lady was done
being
spanked
by Jen,
she sat down (well, fell down really) in a chair and sat there in her
skirt with her legs completely spread....only
to reveal that she was wearing GOLD LAMÉ PANTIES! Holy fucking
shit, they were amazing. My camera was completely dead at this point,
but
I knew upon seeing that panties, that my little beaut wouldn't fail
me. I took out the cam and before turning it on, nodded to Jen Choi,
who without missing a beat, crawled over next to her and the visible
panties on all fours. I fired up the cam, lined up the most incredible
shot of Jen making a face and pointing at the panties, and
just as the cam was about
to
go
off,
a
hand came
from out of nowhere and covered the lens. That hand belonged to Emma
Taylor - who said she "felt bad for the drunk lady."
I've had some time to think about it, and while I'm still upset that
Emma ruined what could've very well been the crown jewel of this site,
I realized that part of the reason that we all love her so much is
because she really is that nice of a person. I mean, if she'd save
a total stranger from humiliation, just imagine what she'd do for her
friends, right? But hey, that doesn't mean that YOU can't send her hate
mail.
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