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My friend Sarah, who used to be the cocktail waitress
for Sid
& Buddy's Monday Night Karaoke, invited me to her (and Herman's)
Wednesday night Lingerie Karaoke Birthdy Extravaganza!
Birthday kids Sarah and Herman (the Karaoke Jew).
Check out Ed in his Hefneresque jammies! Awwww, sit!
Buddy and Sid (still clothed at this point) manning the karaoke station.
Nadine and Candy!
Seth, one of the stars of "The
Story That Can't Be Told" (scroll
down to the June 23rd entry), Sarah, and me.
As the booze started flowing more freely, the "you must be in lingerie
or your underwear" policy was foisted upon us.
Sid & Buddy stripped down to their Underroos!
Xiomara!
Buddy (in his giant, foam Speedy Gonzales hat) and Nadine.
Tara (in her Holly Hobby lingerie), Ed and my armpit hair. Suh-weet.
Mad prizzops to David, the only other guy (besides Sid & Buddy who
cheated by wearing shirts) to truly strip down to his skivvies.
Tara and Howard, the dude that owns the jizzoint. (Yo, check out his
necklace all bling-blinging in the flash. Wooooooord!)
Okay, after you're done drooling over Sarah's ridiculous onion, make
sure you direct your eyes north for a look at the priceless expression
David's pulling.
Sid, Candy, Tara and Buddy.
Me (my armpit hair again) and Valentina.
As the booze continued to flow, Sarah took it upon herself to start
shucking clothes off of the shy ones.
Holy best photo EVER! Sarah and Tara munching, er, cutting rug.
Noody David getting a lil' backup help from Candy and Tara.
Male pole dancing! Wooooooo!
Female pole dancing! Woooooooo!
Hahahahaha.
Herman: birthday boy and Karaoke Jew extraordinaire dedicated a lil'
sumptin to his birthday counterpart.
Candy and I reminded everyone that Roxanne did indeed not need to be
putting on that red light. Seriously, those days are over,
Rox. For
seriously.
Yelena and Dan Cassanova (and a girl in a green shirt I don't know)!
David dishes some tough loving to Natalka while Yelena cheers him on.
After your done checking out those sweet juh-juh-juggz, make sure to
check out Matt's mouth doing an impression of a wet asshole. Hahaha.
Ew.
After everyone was good and liquored up, it was time to administer the birthday
spankings!
And with the spankings out of the way it was time for birthday cake
woooo!
Hahahahah.
So right when they were bringing the cake out, I got called up to sing.
I grabbed the dick off the cake (thinking it was just a plastic dick)
and stuffed it down my pants. Only after the song was over did I realize
the dick was actually made out of white chocolate and if it wasn't
ruined right when I shoved it down my underwear, it was certainly ruined
when I let an enthusiastic audience member stub out their cigarette
on it (see the ash mark?). Doh. Uh, sorry about that one guys.
In case any of you were wondering what the bottoms of a person's feet
would look like after walking around on a drink-soaked, ash laden bar
basement carpet - here you go. Seriously, I can't think of anything
grosser than this picture....
...oh wait, yes
I can.
When Candy and Sarah started all dirty dancing and pointing the fan
at themselves (to achieve that true "lesbians in a Whitesnake rock
video" effect), I knew it was time to call it a night (before I lost
my tiny mind). Happy Birthday Sar! Woooooooo!
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