The Birthday kids! Sarah and Herman (the Karaoke Jew). ˆ herman the cowboy jew ˆ sarah b ˆ

Check out Ed in his Hefneresque jammies! Awwww, sit! ˆ ed ˆ

Buddy and Sid (still clothed at this point) manning the karaoke station. ˆ sid and buddy ˆ metal ˆ

Nadine and Candy! ˆ candy ˆ

Seth, one of the stars of "The Story That Can't Be Told", Sarah, and me. ˆ me ˆ sarah b ˆ seth ˆ

As the booze started flowing more freely, the "you must be in lingerie or your underwear" policy was foisted upon us. ˆ candy ˆ me ˆ

Sid & Buddy stripped down to their Underroos! ˆ sid and buddy ˆ costumes ˆ karaoke ˆ

Xiomara! ˆ me ˆ xiomara ˆ

Buddy (in his giant, foam Speedy Gonzales hat) and Nadine. ˆ matt l ˆ karaoke ˆ

Tara (in her Holly Hobby lingerie), Ed and my armpit hair. Suh-weet. ˆ ed ˆ me ˆ tara ˆ

Mad props to David, the only other guy there who didn't cheat and stripped all the way down to his skivvies. ˆ david w ˆ matt lesser ˆ sid and buddy ˆ karaoke ˆ

Tara and Howard, the dude that owns the jizzoint. (Yo, check out his necklace all bling-blinging in the flash. Wooooooord!) ˆ howard ˆ tara ˆ bling ˆ

Okay, after you're done drooling over Sarah's ridiculous onion, make sure you direct your eyes north for a look at the priceless expression David's pulling. ˆ david w ˆ sarah b ˆ tara ˆ best ˆ

Sid, Candy, Tara and Buddy. ˆ candy ˆ matt l ˆ matt lesser ˆ tara ˆ best ˆ karaoke ˆ

Me (my armpit hair again) and Valentina. ˆ me ˆ

As the booze continued to flow, Sarah took it upon herself to start shucking clothes off of the shy ones. ˆ sarah b ˆ sid and buddy ˆ karaoke ˆ

Holy best photo EVER! Sarah and Tara munching cutting rug. ˆ sarah b ˆ sid and buddy ˆ tara ˆ best ˆ dance ˆ karaoke ˆ

Noody David getting a lil' backup help from Candy and Tara. ˆ candy ˆ david w ˆ sid and buddy ˆ tara ˆ karaoke ˆ

Male pole dancing! Wooooooo! ˆ sid and buddy ˆ best ˆ pole ˆ

Female pole dancing! Woooooooo! ˆ candy ˆ pole ˆ

Hahahahaha. ˆ me ˆ tara ˆ butt ˆ lick ˆ

Herman: birthday boy and Karaoke Jew extraordinaire dedicated a lil' sumptin to his birthday counterpart. ˆ herman the cowboy jew ˆ karaoke ˆ

Matt and a pink leopard lady! ˆ matt lesser ˆ

Best night of karaoke EVAR! ˆ sid and buddy ˆ tara ˆ karaoke ˆ

Candy and I reminded everyone that Roxanne did indeed not need to be putting on that red light. Seriously, those days are over, Rox. For seriously. ˆ candy ˆ me ˆ sid and buddy ˆ karaoke ˆ

Yelena and Dan Cassanova (and a girl in a green shirt I don't know)! ˆ dan cassanova ˆ yelena ˆ

David dishes some tough loving to Natalka while Yelena cheers him on. ˆ david w ˆ natalka ˆ yelena ˆ karaoke ˆ

After your done checking out those sweet juh-juh-juggz, make sure to check out Matt's mouth doing an impression of a wet asshole. Hahaha. Ew. ˆ matt lesser ˆ boobs ˆ point ˆ

After everyone was good and liquored up, it was time to administer the birthday spankings! ˆ matt l ˆ matt lesser ˆ sarah b ˆ sid and buddy ˆ birthday ˆ

And with the spankings out of the way it was time for birthday cake woooo! ˆ best ˆ birthday ˆ cake ˆ wtf ˆ

Hahahahah. ˆ sarah b ˆ cake ˆ lick ˆ

So right when they were bringing the cake out, I got called up to sing. I grabbed the dick off the cake (thinking it was just a plastic dick) and stuffed it down my pants. Only after the song was over did I realize the dick was actually made out of white chocolate and if it wasn't ruined right when I shoved it down my underwear, it was certainly ruined when I let an enthusiastic audience member stub out their cigarette on it (see the ash mark?). Doh. Uh, sorry about that one guys. ˆ karaoke ˆ wtf ˆ

In case any of you were wondering what the bottoms of a person's feet would look like after walking around on a drink-soaked, ash laden bar basement carpet - here you go. Seriously, I can't think of anything grosser than this picture.... ˆ feet ˆ gross ˆ

...oh wait, yes I can.

When Candy and Sarah started all dirty dancing and pointing the fan at themselves (to achieve that true "lesbians in a Whitesnake rock video" effect), I knew it was time to call it a night (before I lost my tiny mind). Happy Birthday, Sarah and Herman! Woooooooo! ˆ candy ˆ sarah b ˆ best ˆ metal ˆ