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My friend
Doug arrived on a train from Colorado at 3:30pm on Halloween. After
not having left his monastery for like 2 years, and spending 3 days
on a train, he was feeling a little rowdy and looking to raise a little
heck.
It's become
a tradition that Doug never figures out what he's going to be for Halloween
until right before we head out. And rather than relying on a Halloween
store, Doug will usually use, um, "local items he finds lying around"
(aka - picked out of the dumpter) to make his costume. (This famed process
led to such Halloween costume hits as 1997's "Tantric
Mysticism of Lippy Magraw" and many others).
Anyway, when Doug first rolled into town, he declared that he was going
to be William Wallace (the charachter that Mel Gibson played in Braveheart.)
Here's Doug trying to hurriedly dig out a piece of wood to fashion William
Wallace's shield from (while I laugh and take his picture and scream
"Trashpicker! Trashpicker!" at the top of my lungs).
Doug couldn't manage to salvage enough trash to make a good William
Wallace costume (he needed a shield and a sword), so I talked him into
dressing up as a Misfit with me. Doug got to be Doyle...
...and I dressed up as Jerry.
Doug had just cut off all of his hair so he had to pencil in his "devil-lock"
hair with make-up. HAHAHAHA! We hopped into a cab and headed uptown
to go to Dave and Viola's party (which you may remember from last
year).
Doug, Colin (as a Hillbilly), me and Dave (who, as he put it, was dressed
as "some random punk-rocker type, um, guy or something").
Vampire Viola and her one of her hussy, knocked-up, slutty friends.
Frank "The Fridge" Picarazzi keeping my bizzeer cold.
Smirnoff Ice is SO in, didn't you know?
Cute girls.
Here are the two "Ever" girls: The "Hottest Girl EVER"
poses with "The Drunkest Girl EVER." (and yo, check it, there's
that Smirnoff Ice shit again...you thought i was just playing?).
Vanessa. Holy crap.
This is probably the funniest pic of the night (or at least 2nd runner
up behind Josh Teixeira passed out standing up against a wall...hehe).
Bonus points for Doug's face in the background.
After standing around blatantly leering, open-mouthed at Viola's ridiculous
friends for an hour or so (I mean look at her ass, Jesus!), we decided
that it was time to head out to Brooklyn to our friend Jordan's Halloween
party (aka - going back to the minor league).
Right when we got to Jordan's party we ran into Josh Teixeira who continued
his "80's
Movie Costume Theme" by dressing up as Gilbert from "Revenge
of the Nerds."
I also randomly ran into Rob Berliner (Not only does he live in Philly,
we went to high school together...which makes it a Double Random Whammy!
Woooo!).
Doug and I pounded our Big Buds and made a quick run to the store to
pick up some more beeyahs. When we returned we started looking for Josh
to give him his beer and we found that he had....
...passed out standing up while waiting in line for the bathroom. HAHAHAHAHA!
After closing out Jordan's party, we stopped at Bedford pizza to grab
a late night slice.
While waiting for our slices to heat up, we made friends with strangers.
Okay, so check this out: We're back in Manhattan and we're walking down
Houston towards my place and this woman is talking on her cellphone
and walking towards us. She gets like 8 feet from us and we both suddenly
hear this huge fart and as she passes us she says to her friend on the
phone "Oh shit, I think these white boys just heard me fart!"
and starts laughing. So we chased her down the street and asked her
if she'd pose for a pic! In this pic, Doug and I are yelling "Ohhhhhh!"
while she's telling her friend on the phone "Oh shit! Oh shit!
The white boys that heard me farting is taking my picture and shit!
They're taking my picture!" Soooo funny.
A block past the farting woman, Doug finds a mop on the street and decides
that he going to use it, as he said, for some "Good ol' fashioned
mop-pole-vaulting." Here is off the stairs....
Here he is on top of a bus station. Yep, on top of it.
Here he is hanging off of store awning...which caused the mop to break.
After laughing like two crazed loons at the mop photos, Doug decided
it would be funny to capture an action shot of him breaking something...here's
him mid-throw with a CPU monitor we found on the street.
I call this picture "The Moment Doug Contracted Lice By Picking
Up and Wearing A Stranger's Witch Hat He Found On The Street."
Catchy, right?
My camera is really high res...but when I shrink down the photos for
this webpage, a lot of the detail ends up getting lost. So here, for
your amusment, is a collage of some of the better faces Doug made that
I managed to catch in film during the mop fiasco.
Home. 5am
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