brian meets "the ass"

october 2, 2002

There's this petite, gay guy in Brooklyn with really long hair that always walks around with supertight, girly pants on. And the thing is, guys are constantly mistaking him for a girl (because hey, he does have a great ass). I can't tell you how many times I've watched tough-guys walk up the subway platform stairs behind him, all sticking their faces up in his jizzoint and staring at his ass acting all macho and shit only to see him turn and realize that they've been staring at a dude's ass. (You should see the look of panick as they question their sexuality. Priceless.) So I'm walking on Spring Street on the way home and I see "The Ass" sitting in Lombardi's Pizza by himself getting ready to eat. Realizing that I had my camera with me, I actually walked into Lombardi's and told this dude that I thought he had a "sick onion" and asked if he'd let me photograph it. He was totally game (his only regret, and I quote, was that he wish he'd worn "more ass-aliscious pants" to better showcase his bum. Yo, check that shit out...tight right? And then he turns around and...."Oh maaaaan! It's a DUDE!" Hahahaha. This guy was a trip - when I told him that we all called him "The Ass," he laughed and said that he constantly gets mistaken for a girl.

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